


I Want To See You (Behind Bars)

by Zino



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Police, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2019-11-18 00:52:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 37,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18109985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zino/pseuds/Zino
Summary: A certain flirty thief makes rookie constable Lu Han's blood boil and heart race at the same time.





	1. The Case Of The Little Red Tear

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Owl City's I'm Coming After You song, Detective Conan manga and Love Shot MV. Completely made up facts about Beijing's police forces lol. Don't take this too seriously guys. My beta, P, is a hard worker and deserves everything.

At the exact moment the clock strikes eight in the morning, Lu Han swings open the door to the local police station. Carrying a cardboard box full of his personal items, he stops at the doorway and lets himself to take it all in. Despite the early morning, the station is already filled with life and noise. Lu Han notices a chubby man with a mustache yelling at his phone in the right corner and a skinny guy carrying a huge amount of papers to his desk. There are computers scattered around the room, one on each desk. Books and papers are lying messily all around the room, some even on the floor. There’s a faint smell of coffee in the air and it’s all Lu Han’s ever dreamt of, all he has ever wanted. And now it’s finally becoming his reality, starting from this very moment.

 

Constable Lu Han. Fresh from the police academy with great papers and an even greater will to put all the bad guys behind bars. Starting today, he’s going to become the name criminals whisper to each other in fear. The one they keep having terrible nightmares about. Just imagining Lu Han’s questionable trademark grin is going to give criminals a horrible diarrhea they can only escape by serving their time.

 

 _Constable_ Lu Han is going to—

 

“Hey, move it, kid”, someone growls behind him and Lu Han barely has time to react before he’s being roughly pushed aside, sending half of his stuff flying onto the floor. His attacker, a man seemingly in his forties, pushes himself past a stumbling Lu Han, barely sparing him a glance before heading towards the smell of coffee. The loud noise Lu Han’s paper-heavy folders make when they collide with the stone floor is enough to get everyone’s attention. Suddenly Lu Han can feel all the eyes in the room on him. He’s prepared to stare down anyone who dares as much as to snicker at him. The brief interest in the new constable dies out as quickly as it was born when everyone turns back to whatever they were doing, leaving Lu Han to gather his stuff alone.

 

He’s off to a great start, it seems.

 

Once he’s gathered his folders and loose papers back into his box, Lu Han finally moves away from the doorway. More people are coming in, ready to start their workday, and Lu Han doesn’t want to be pushed again. For a moment he stands still, feeling a little unsure of where he should go. He’s been assigned to this large station, but he hasn’t actually met any of his superiors yet and doesn’t know who he should talk to first. The other officers seem to be happy to ignore the new face in the room, but Lu Han doesn’t let that bring him down. He’s been waiting to join the police force for so long that nothing can ruin this day for him.

 

Full of confidence, Lu Han swipes his brown hair out of his eyes and heads further into the room. He spots an officer looking at some papers and decides to test his luck with him.

 

“Morning”, Lu Han greets with a wide smile. The man’s tired eyes focus on him for a second before he switches his attention back to his papers. Lu Han doesn’t let his smile falter. “Where can I find the chief inspector? I’m supposed to start working here today. I’m Lu Han, by the way. Nice to meet you.”

 

Without answering, the man slightly nudges his head to the left - in the direction of a glass room. Lu Han guesses that’s everything he’s going to get out of this sleepy man, so he thanks him and bows deeply before heading for the office with glass walls.

 

He may be a new constable in this part of the town, but that doesn’t make his knock on the door hesitant. He’s determined to show his passion in the workplace starting from day one. For a moment nothing happens, but before Lu Han can try peeking in through the window, there’s a low voice coming from inside the room, asking him to enter.

 

Lu Han enthusiastically opens the door and comes face to face with an old, grumpy-looking man. He must be the chief inspector of this place. Before the man can ask him any questions, Lu Han greets him with a loud voice.

 

“Morning, sir! Constable Lu Han from the Beijing Police Academy at your service. I’ve been on the phone with someone called Mr. Yang who told me I should start working here today!”

 

The man stares at him and then groans, rubbing his reddish face with his huge palm. “A new kid? Yang sure didn’t tell me anything about this, that old bastard. Of course he’d do something like this before leaving for a month-long vacation…”

 

Lu Han isn’t sure what he should say, but he’s getting the feeling nobody except Mr. Yang even knew he was starting today. For a second, a wave of uncertainty washes over Lu Han, making his toes feel numb in his new shiny shoes. He quickly pushes it out of his mind. He’s finally here, and he sure as hell won’t let himself be kicked out on the first day.

 

“Sir? I may be new, but I’m full of passion and determination! You can put me anywhere, even the traffic section is fine!”

 

The chief inspector gives Lu Han another glance before sighing. “Traffic’s no good. We already have the right amount of people there. I wasn’t even aware we needed more manpower, nobody’s retiring any time soon...” Something cold slushes inside Lu Han again, but he keeps ignoring it. He. _Won’t_. Be. Kicked. Out. Before he starts another motivational speech about how much this police station absolutely needs him, the older man raises his hand.

 

“Just… there’s a room in the basement, okay? Says ‘Unit M” on the door. Go there and tell Kris I sent you.”

 

“Unit M…?” Lu Han hesitantly asks. The old man, however, has already picked up his phone, signaling Lu Han that he has no time for the newcomer anymore. “Just go there, we’ll decide what to do with you once that bastard Yang comes back next month.” Then he spins around in his chair, and Lu Han senses he’s no longer wanted in this office. He doesn’t care about the cold treatment he’s gotten so far. He didn’t get kicked out of the station, and that’s all that matters right now. He doesn’t mind that his new workplace seems to be in the basement. He doesn’t even care if Unit M’s sole purpose is catching stray cats. Lu Han will accept whatever is offered to him and prove to everyone that he’s an amazing police officer. And then slowly work his way up to catching actual hardcore criminals and having high speed car chases under neon lights in the middle of the night.

 

It takes him a while to locate the stairs leading to the basement, but once Lu Han finds them, he practically runs them all the way down and only stops in front of an uninviting door with the label “Unit M” stuck on it. There seems to be a small sheep doodle on it. It looks like the sheep is using a screwdriver, and for a moment Lu Han just stares at it. He doesn’t understand why a sheep would use one. Shaking his head, Lu Han forces himself to forget about the weird (but somewhat stylish) sheep and knocks on the door instead. Before anyone gets to call him in, Lu Han opens the door. He’s not being rude, just eager to start working. He hopes his future co-workers see it the same way. Lu Han would hate to have some bad blood between him and the officers right from the start. Especially when he hasn’t quite mastered the art of cooking perfectly seasoned ramen (without setting his apartment on fire) for a potential peace offering.

 

“Morning!” Lu Han loads all of his passion into his greeting, wanting it to catch the attention of every person in the room. It isn’t difficult, he realizes a few seconds later when he takes his first good look at the room. There are only two people in it. The room itself doesn’t have windows and looks like it was last cleaned a decade ago. Lu Han hopes the ‘M’ in the Unit M doesn’t stand for messy. But unlike the police officers upstairs, the two people in the room actually stop whatever they were doing to look at Lu Han.

 

Before any awkward questions are asked, Lu Han decides to introduce himself and make it clear that he’s here to stay. And to catch criminals. “I’m constable Lu Han! Please call me Luhan, as Lu makes it sound like you’re talking about my old man and Han is way too girly! I’m new here and have been assigned to join this unit. Nice to meet you!” When the introduction is over, Lu Han puts on his best smile, hoping it’ll snap the two men out of their speechlessness. They both have this intimidating aura surrounding them, and Lu Han’s glad they’re all on the same side of the law. He’s not quite sure how he’d handle hand-to-hand combat with either of them. It’s not that he sucks, but the two men have way too many centimeters on him. They would probably squash Lu Han like a small fly.

 

“Assigned here…? From where…?” The other man finally unfreezes and asks. He has cropped brown hair and is probably the tallest guy Lu Han’s ever seen.

 

“Yes!” Lu Han answers him right away. “I was told to tell someone called Kris that I’ve been sent here by…” He falters at the end because he doesn’t actually know the name of the chief inspector who sent him to Unit M. “…by the chief inspector”, he finishes somewhat lamely, hoping the men know who he’s talking about.

 

“See!” The man with dark circles under his eyes speaks up. “I told you they think we aren’t doing enough!”

 

“We are doing the best we can…” The other man rubs his forehead. “Well, I guess this is a good thing. We can share the workload a little, especially now that Yixing’s in love with his little laboratory…”

 

Lu Han has no idea what they’re talking about, but the atmosphere seems somewhat friendlier than it was upstairs. He’s starting to like Unit M already.

 

“I’m all fired up and ready to start working!” He bows and finally closes the door behind himself. Despite the lack of windows and the lighting fixtures that look like they’re from the ‘90s, Lu Han quite likes Unit M’s dungeon. Magazine clippings decorate the white walls, and the messiness makes the room seem friendlier. Or maybe it’s the two giant dog plushies. Lu Han’s pretty sure one of them has a collar saying ‘Baby’, but he’s not going to question it now. Instead, Lu Han searches for an empty table where he could put his stuff. He may have a trained body but carrying a heavy box with him all morning is really starting to hurt his arms. The taller of the men seems to notice what Lu Han is looking for and hastily stands up, emptying a nearby table from papers and other junk. “You can put your stuff here. Let’s make it your desk.” Lu Han’s grateful and can’t stop a sigh from escaping his mouth when he’s finally allowed to let go of the heavy box.

 

“I’m inspector Yifan. But everyone calls me Kris, so you should too.” The man offers his hand and Lu Han gladly takes it. “Nice to meet you”, he smiles at the tall man.

 

“This is Zitao”, Kris then waves his hand in the direction of the blond man with dark eyes. Lu Han thinks Zitao looks way scarier than Kris, but then he takes both of Lu Han’s hands into his and smiles brightly, looking as intimidating as a tiny kitten. “I’m so glad you’re here, because I don’t think I can take another all-nighter…” Looking at the dark circles under Zitao’s eyes, Lu Han fully agrees. He squeezes Zitao’s hands back and lets him know he’s happy to be here too.

 

“Should I let Xing-ge and Dae-ge know too? I can go fetch them from the lab.” Zitao looks at Kris but the taller man shakes his head. “They’ll come out eventually.”

 

Lu Han apparently makes a confused face, because Kris clarifies. “They’ve never missed the 9am coffee break. Especially Yixing.” Lu Han mouths a silent “oh” and sits down in his chair. It looks old and the leather is all worn out, but it’s still surprisingly comfy. Which is good, because Lu Han is planning to use the chair for the next 40 years. Then he remembers to ask the question that’s been burning in his mind ever since he heard he’d be put in Unit M.

 

“So, what is this unit for?”

 

Kris looks at him. “You weren’t told?” Lu Han shakes his head. He said he was okay with cat rescuing, but he really hopes it isn’t that. He wants to catch criminals, not cats.

 

“We’re the head unit for dealing with Xiumin’s crimes.” Kris smiles apologetically, and Lu Han can’t help but open his mouth in awe. Xiumin is —

 

Kris, however, interrupts his thoughts. “I know, I know. Most guys want to be put in the homicide squad or work with the drug dealers… Maybe that’s why we’ve been understaffed lately.”

 

“No, no!” Lu Han quickly shouts. “This is amazing! I’ve read a lot about Xiumin, that slippery thief no one’s managed to catch yet. He’s made quite a name for himself despite appearing for the first time just last year. A lonely thief who doesn’t rely on explosions, guns or hostages… How romantic. For this decade, I mean!” Lu Han blabbers forward. He’s been following whatever’s been said about Xiumin in the newspapers because he differs so much from the typical gangsters and bank robbers. Well, Xiumin _is_ still a criminal, but one who relies on his wits and intelligence more than sheer power or weapons. The way newspapers describe him make Xiumin feel more like a gentleman thief from 19th century western detective novels.

 

Kris raises his eyebrow. “Impressive, you already know something.” Lu Han nods, eager to please his new boss. “I’ve been following his crimes on the news! The way he always manages to dodge the police… it’s amazing.”

 

“Are you sure you aren’t on Xiumin’s side?” Zitao throws a suspicious look at him and Lu Han is quick to defend himself. “No, no! Of course not! What I’m looking forward to the most is putting him behind bars. That’s the only place for thieves like him.”

 

Kris and Zitao exchange looks after hearing Lu Han’s argument, and there’s something like a smirk on Kris’s face. “I like this kid.”

 

“I’m not a kid!? I’m twenty-five”, Lu Han quickly corrects and silently curses his baby face that just won’t change into a manlier one, no matter how much he wishes for it. Zitao looks scandalized. “Eh, you’re my gege? I thought there was finally someone even I could boss around…” Lu Han smiles at him apologetically and then looks at Kris.

 

“So, what are you guys doing right now? I’d like to get into action as soon as possible!”

 

“So eager to work. I like you even more. Haven’t seen someone like you here in a while”, Kris laughs and walks over to a pile of paper, taking some sheets with him and dropping them on Lu Han’s desk. Zitao puffs out his cheeks and mutters something about being a hard worker too. Kris just rolls his eyes.

 

“Here’s all the up to date data of Xiumin we currently have.” Kris points to the papers and Lu Han grabs the topmost page. He’s greeted with a surveillance camera printout showing a shortish man dressed in black from head to toe and even wearing a ski mask. Next to the picture is a close-up that only shows the man’s face. Because of the mask, there’s nothing else to see in the shot, except for icy blue eyes staring right at Lu Han.

 

_Xiumin._

Xiumin is a thief who first appeared in August last year. And Xiumin is anything but a regular thief. He always informs the police where he’s going to strike next by sending his trademark – a calling card. That’s what first caught Lu Han’s attention too, when he was preparing for his final exams last year. He was taking a break and reading the local newspaper, and there it was - a photograph of the first calling card Xiumin had sent to the police. His words on the card were taunting, telling the police what he was going to steal next and when he was going to steal it. Telling them to try and stop him. Every notice Xiumin has sent has ended the same way, with a smirking cat drawn on the card. The police had ignored the first calling card, thinking it was some sort of prank. They had only taken action two days later when the next one had been delivered to them with a photograph attached to it. The photo had been a selfie Xiumin had taken at the scene of his crime. He was holding the famous cat statue in his left hand – the very same statue he had warned the police he was going to steal. After that, the police had taken every calling card signed by Xiumin very seriously.

 

“He’s a slippery one, isn’t he?” Lu Han mumbles to no one. Zitao catches it anyway.

 

“Yeah. Despite being given a warning beforehand, we still haven’t caught him.” He nods.

 

No matter whether the crime happens at a museum where Xiumin’s after some rare painting or at a person’s private property where they keep their diamonds. In the end the results are always the same – Xiumin escapes with the stolen goods. The press calls him by many names. At first there was a “kitty burglar”, but it has long since evolved to a “cat thief”. Sometimes he gets called “black panther” because of how he dresses and how swiftly he moves to avoid getting caught. The police have been the laughing stock of the city for a while, and that’s just one more reason why Lu Han is more than ready to see Xiumin in jail. In spite of everyone mocking the police forces, they have at least managed to retrieve the stolen items from Xiumin.

 

…Well, more like Xiumin sends them back just to make the police look even more foolish in the eyes of public. It seems like Beijing’s police forces are going to get back their dignity only by catching Xiumin. And he _will_  be caught someday and get a heavy sentence for all the ridiculing of police forces. The next time Xiumin acts all arrogant and sends another calling card will be his last. Lu Han’s going to make sure that his pretty blue eyes won’t be seeing freedom any time soon.

“…Wow, he’s really into reading those papers, ge”, Lu Han registers Zitao’s voice after a while and snaps his head up. Kris has returned to his desk and Zitao is still close by, looking at Lu Han. Without noticing, Lu Han’s already reached the tenth page that explains Xiumin’s movements during the robbery in detail. He was at the part discussing the small gadgets Xiumin seems to own that always help him escape miraculously. Before Lu Han has time to get embarrassed, the door to Unit M’s room opens and two more men walk in.

 

“Coffee…!” One of them grumbles and walks straight to the coffee machine on the side of the room. Lu Han thinks he probably didn’t even notice the new face in the room. The other man, however, looks surprised at Lu Han’s presence.

 

“Dae-ge, this is Luhan-ge. He’s new”, Zitao quickly explains before Lu Han has the chance to introduce himself yet again. The man’s mouth curls up, making him look like a cat. He walks over to Lu Han to shake his hand.

 

“Kim Jongdae. The brain of this team”, he says with a small accent, and judging by the name, Lu Han supposes he’s originally from Korea. Jongdae’s hands are warm but his voice is even warmer. Instantly, Lu Han feels oddly safe. “Luhan”, he replies back, even when Zitao already introduced him. Jongdae is about to say something else, but a loud shriek interrupts them. Its source is the black-haired man next to the coffee machine. He’s fallen to the floor on his knees, and if everyone else in the room wasn’t acting calm, Lu Han would have rushed to the man’s side already, thinking he’s somehow hurt himself.

 

“We’re out of coffee! How can this be!? How can I function without my coffee? How can I live? How can I cope? You want me to die? Huh? Do I just go and die then? Okay. If that’s what you want, then I —“

 

“That’s enough, Yixing”, Kris groans, rubbing his head. “Zitao, I thought you bought more coffee yesterday?”

 

Zitao, who’s still standing next to Lu Han, hangs his head guiltily, lips pouting. “It was so dark and cold after I left work I didn’t wanna bother. Supermarket’s too far away…” Zitao’s apology is accompanied by Yixing’s low whining as he gives up completely and just slumps on the floor. Lu Han thinks he hears sobbing as well. He’s about to ask something, anything, but Jongdae pats him on the back. “Don’t mind him. Yixing’s always been an overdramatic baby when he doesn’t get his morning coffee.”

 

“That’s why Taozi’s going to get it for him, right?” Jongdae smiles but Lu Han thinks there’s something sinister in that smile.

 

“Don’t wanna... make Lu-ge get it, he’s new here!” Zitao protests and hugs the old computer on the desk, as if signaling that he isn’t letting go of it until someone else has gone to get the coffee.

 

“You can’t ask him that just because he’s new here. He may have more experience than you”, Kris calmly explains, obviously used to dealing with this sort of situation. Lu Han is starting to understand why Unit M’s room is located at the very bottom of this building. Somehow, he doesn’t see this kind of behavior happening on the upper floors where everyone was too busy to even notice Lu Han arriving.

 

“Well? How many years of experience do you have, gege?” Zitao looks at Lu Han from under his eyebrows, trying to look pitiful. It’s kind of working, as Lu Han’s always been a sucker for cute things even though he’ll never ever admit it. He must protect his manly image at all costs.

 

“Yeah, where have you worked before? In Beijing?” Kris asks too, interested in Lu Han’s career history.

 

“No previous working experience, sir! I graduated from the local police academy just last month!” Lu Han proudly boasts and misses the way disbelief spreads on the others’ faces.

 

…And that’s how he finds himself running for the nearest coffee shop.

 

“Goddamn”, Lu Han huffs, pushing the door open five minutes later. He’d already accepted Unit M into his heart, and they still dare to throw him under the bus like this. Just because it’s his very first day as a constable, they shouldn’t be treating Lu Han like a mere assistant! He’s here to catch criminals for god’s sake, not to deliver coffee so Yixing can properly function for the rest of the day. Even Kris, who had looked rather happy about having a new guy assigned to his team, had lost some of the spark in his eyes after hearing Lu Han was a complete rookie. It didn’t matter that Lu Han was the oldest in Unit M. Only his working experience, or the lack of it in this case, seemed to count.

 

It wasn’t Lu Han’s fault he hadn’t entered the police academy right after high school. His parents had thought it would be better for him to become a doctor. Lu Han had spent the next three years trying to get into various medical schools, even when he had zero interest in becoming a well-paid doctor. After years of not getting the desired results, his parents had finally caved in and allowed Lu Han to join the police academy. Lu Han doesn’t even regret the wasted three years that much. At least he now has excessive knowledge about human anatomy, which can prove useful when he knows just where to hit to make a criminal lose consciousness quickly.

 

If he’s ever allowed on the field, that is. Judging from the way Kris had quickly snatched the Xiumin-related papers back, it’s starting to seem he intends to keep Lu Han as a coffee delivery boy for a while. That’s not what the newly appointed constable had in mind at all. Lu Han just needs one chance to show his skills, and he’ll be joining the action really soon. The fact that he’s a rookie doesn’t mean he’ll make stupid mistakes like zone out at work or something. He never zones out.

 

“Are you going to order something or…?” A voice pulls Lu Han out of his thoughts. Okay, he _almost_ never zones out. Accidents happen. Even to pros.

 

“Yes, just a second!” He mumbles quickly and reaches for the crumpled paper in his front pocket. Unit M is apparently full of coffee snobs who all want different things. And on top of that, Zitao’s handwriting sucks. Lu Han stares at the written words and tries to make out whether the youngest guy wants a cappuccino or a Frappuccino. Kris’s order isn’t any better. What does “with two meaningful spoons of sugar” even mean? How can spoons be meaningful? They’re just spoons, for god’s sake. Yixing’s order says “surprise me”, but under it is a list of coffees he doesn’t want to be surprised with. Jongdae has simply written “coffee”, but this shop offers like twenty different types of coffee. How is Lu Han supposed to know which one the guy had meant? He’s known the Korean guy for like ten minutes, and sure, he aced his profiling 101 course, but that never taught him how to tell someone’s coffee preference from his face.

 

Lu Han’s face must have showed his inner turmoil, because his vision is soon interrupted by a small hand. Looking up, he sees it belong to the red-haired barista behind the counter. “Can I see?” he smiles, and without saying anything, Lu Han hands him the list and hopes for the best. The barista looks at the list for what only feels like five seconds and then returns it to Lu Han with another crooked smile. “I got it.”

 

“Oh, and one Americano. All of them to take away, please”, Lu Han hastily adds. He might as well order for himself too, now that he’s here. He doesn’t typically drink that much coffee, but the beverage seems to hold a place deep in Unit M’s hearts and Lu Han doesn’t want to feel like an outsider.

 

It doesn’t take long for the barista to whip up the coffees, putting them in cupholders and handing the order to Lu Han. “Remember to say those spoonfuls were extra meaningful”, he jokes when the cups are safely in Lu Han’s hands. Lu Han rolls his eyes but can’t help smiling at the barista’s cheerful mood. “I will. Thanks.” He nods and then runs out of the coffee shop, because as nice as it was to spend a few minutes in a relaxing room surrounded by amazing aromas, he can’t wait to get back to the basement and inhale some of that old document air into his lungs again. And then maybe catch some criminals, if Kris lets him.

 

Looking at the coffees in his hands, Lu Han sure hopes the small barista got the orders correct, because he’d hate to piss off any of his new coworkers on his first day.

 

…

 

It turns out Lu Han had nothing to worry about and the barista knew what he was doing. Kris is nodding at his coffee and mumbling something about meanings. It’s probably a sign there’s the right amount of sugar in his coffee. Tao is sipping his drink with a pink straw (that wasn’t even included in the list, Lu Han is amazed the barista knew he’d want it) and Jongdae had gulped down his in two seconds before disappearing behind a pile of papers again. Yixing had barely taken a sip of his surprise coffee before he’d yelled “OH MY GOSH” and run away somewhere. Back to his lab, Kris had informed him when he’d seen Lu Han staring after the hyper man, eyebrows raised. Lu Han had kind of wanted to ask but decided to take a sip of his own Americano instead. The taste was surprisingly sweet for an Americano, and it made Lu Han suspect the barista had added some extra sugar in it. Lu Han actually likes it better this way. That guy could have a great career in profiling if he ever decided he was done serving people delicious coffee.

 

“Gege, this is so good! Can we please always get our morning coffees from that place, I don’t wanna go back to supermarket coffee ever again”, Zitao pleads Kris with puppy eyes and an adorable pout. Lu Han’s glad it’s not meant for him because he’d probably promise Zitao the world if he looked him like that.

 

“I, for once, agree with Taozi”, Lu Han hears Jongdae pipe up from behind his papers. “This is way better than what we normally drink. I actually want to work after drinking it, haha.”

 

Kris raises his eyebrow and smiles. “ _You_ want to work? I guess we won’t be drinking that black supermarket blend ever again.”

 

Zitao spins in his chair and suddenly decides to hug Lu Han, making the older man almost spill his drink on the both of them. “Yay! Aren’t you happy gege, you get work to do!”

 

If said work only consists of fetching the four other guys coffee every morning, Lu Han sure as hell isn’t happy.

 

…

 

It’s been four mornings of getting others coffee and doing meaningless little tasks like organizing papers alphabetically and cleaning the basement floor. Two days ago, Lu Han even had to entertain Yixing’s cat the man had brought to work by accident. _Don’t ask_ , he had told Lu Han while handing over his fidgeting pet and disappearing to his lab again. It’s no surprise Lu Han’s already sick of it all. He wants action! He wants high speed races on the streets of Beijing or fist fights with criminals he’s driven into a corner. Anything but this!

 

Kris’s been out helping the police deal with a small and very unorganized bank robbery. Zitao had managed to catch a bag thief by accident when he was heading back from work, and even Jongdae’s been in and out the basement, clearly doing something more important than reading his never-ending piles of papers. Lu Han wishes he had even those, but no. Kris had decided he was too much of a rookie and didn’t need to know all the details surrounding Xiumin’s cases yet. He had literally robbed the papers from Lu Han’s hands the second he heard the new face in their unit didn’t have any work experience.

 

It’s been a slow four days for Lu Han, but the fifth one finally changes things.

 

“Xiumin has left another calling card!” Jongdae slams the door open at 8.02 am, waving a copy of a small card in his hands, and Lu Han is suddenly alive again.

 

“Show me!” He jumps out from his chair, where he had slumped down exactly 30 seconds earlier. With two long steps, Lu Han is at Jongdae’s side and snatches the paper out of his hands. _It’s true!_ he thinks when he sees the familiar-looking smug cat doodle in the corner of the paper. Then he reads what the carefully scripted text says.

 

 

_Tomorrow when the clock strikes two at night_

_and the timing for the thief is right_

_the shadows in the Crystal room_

_shall be the police’s doom._

_It will be in my hands, the Little Red Tear_

_as I make my escape knowing no fear._

_~Xiumin_

Lu Han reads the calling card’s message as many times as he manages before Jongdae finally yanks the notice back and shows it to Kris. Lu Han doesn’t need to see the card anymore, as the words are already burned deep into his memory. Tomorrow at two o’clock. Wait, doesn’t that mean tonight, right after midnight? Xiumin’s going to attack tonight! Lu Han’s so excited he can feel his toes vibrating. He turns to Kris, who’s apparently done reading the message and is handing it back to Jongdae. “Take it to Xing to see if he can get anything from it, like fingerprints.”

 

Jongdae rolls his eyes but obeys. “Like Xiumin would leave those.”

 

“Kris! Sir! It’s going to happen tonight!” Lu Han runs to Kris’s desk and slams his hands on it with such force that some of the papers fall onto the floor. Kris glares at Lu Han before bending down to pick them up. “I know, Luhan. I can read.”

 

“You have to take me with you! I want to catch him!” Lu Han begs. This is the reason why he joined the police force – to catch the bad guys.

 

“I don’t know”, Kris starts, and Lu Han can feel his face fall. Before he can utter a single word in objection, Kris continues. “Robbery cases can be dangerous for a rookie. What if you get shot? Your inexperienced blood will be on my hands.”

 

“There will be no blood! There aren’t even any reports of Xiumin ever using a gun!” Lu Han finally retorts, staring right into Kris’s eyes. “Please! I don’t even have to be in the Crystal room. You can locate me further away from the main action. I just… want to be involved. I’m sick of doing nothing, boss! I want to be of use to this society, and ironing Zitao’s designer suits really isn’t it!”

 

When Kris doesn’t immediately shoot him down, Lu Han knows he’s already won. Then, with one final sigh, Kris agrees. “Fine, you can come. But you won’t be joining us in the Crystal room, got it?”

 

“Got it!” Lu Han beams and doesn’t even care that it makes his face look all ugly. This is the best day ever, and the next night is going to be the best night ever (possibly even topping the first time he had managed to cook ramen without the fire alarm going off).

 

Before Lu Han gets to celebrate too much, the door opens again and a sleepy-looking Zitao shuffles in. Seeing Lu Han’s excited face makes him stop in the doorway. “… Did something happen? Luhan-gege, did you get laid?”

 

“No?! Way better than that! Xiumin sent a calling card! He’s going to show up in…” Lu Han looks at his wristwatch. “… in 17 hours, 47 minutes and 27 seconds!”

 

“Oh boy”, is all Zitao weakly says before letting himself fall onto his desk. “I’ve barely managed to clean up the paperwork from the last time he showed up. I guess it’s back to having all-nighters again.”

 

Lu Han can’t believe how unenthusiastic everyone in the room is. Zitao has already fallen asleep against his desk, not even caring to know what was on the card. Kris had barely looked at the card when he had it. Is Lu Han the only one who cares about this at all? Before he manages to voice his frustration, Kris motions him to sit on the closest chair.

 

“Don’t burn all your energy now, Lu Han. This day is going to be long.”

 

Lu Han sits down and looks eagerly at Kris, wanting him to keep talking. Kris finishes whatever he was typing on his computer and then turns to look at Lu Han again. “Crystal room, huh. That probably means—”

 

“The south-west room in the Sunset Mansion, right?” Zitao mumbles in his sleep. Kris nods. “Yes, the mansion that belongs to—”

 

“Mr. Lee. The renowned jewelry collector. Or borrower, should I say. It’s not like he owns any of the jewels he has on display. They’re all loaned to him.” Zitao cuts Kris off again, and Lu Han is surprised. He’s never really seen Zitao do much in the office or even show interest in the robberies, but this guy is apparently a walking encyclopedia. Kris looks surprised too.

 

“Well, you actually know your stuff for once. Usually it’s Jongdae who… wait.” Kris stops midway and walks to Zitao, whose head is still resting against the table. Now that Lu Han takes a closer look at the sleeping man, he sees that Zitao is actually asleep. Who, then, was talking just now?

 

“… It is you, isn’t it, Jongdae?” Kris asks, rolling his eyes.

 

“Yep”, comes the voice despite Zitao not moving his lips. It still sounds like the sleeping man, though, and it leaves Lu Han utterly confused. Kris, however, isn’t confused at all.

 

“Is this some kind of new voice transformer and transmitter, Yixing?”

 

Lu Han hears faint laughter and finally spots the source of the voice – Zitao’s new blingy earring. Kris just groans and rips off the fake accessory, waking Zitao up. The younger man jumps from the brief pain and quickly presses his hand against his throbbing ear. “Hey! I got that from Xing-ge as a present!”

 

“Stop creating stupid machines and come back here to tell me if you’ve found something on the card”, Kris speaks into the earring and throws it into the trash can, muttering something about a certain someone always wasting his time on useless shit.

 

A few moments later, Yixing and Jongdae both emerge into the room, looking apologetic. To no one’s surprise, there had been no prints or fibers or anything to tell them more about Xiumin — as usual. The thief remains a complete mystery. All the police currently know is that he’s a little taller than 160 cm and has blue eyes, and even those details are easy to fake with insoles and color contacts. Xiumin doesn’t even limit actions to stealing jewelry. He sometimes takes paintings too, or small statues, or other items worth a lot of money. Only plain cash doesn’t seem to interest him at all.

 

Tonight, he’s going for a famous ruby called the Little Red Tear. Like Zitao — or Jongdae — had stated earlier, said ruby is being kept in the Sunset Mansion. In the Crystal room, to be more precise, where Mr. Lee keeps the jewelry he’s rented (why anyone would want to rent a ruby is beyond Lu Han). Jongdae tells them the Little Red Tear belongs to Mr. Kim, who’s originally a Korean businessman but has lived in Beijing for over twenty years now. The ruby’s real owner doesn’t surprise Lu Han, either. As far as he knows (and based on what he had managed to read in all the papers lying around before Kris had given him some other, more boring, tasks to do), everything Xiumin has attempted to steal so far has had some kind of connection to Mr. Kim. It’s like the cat burglar has a personal vendetta against the rich businessman. But then again, who doesn’t? Sure, Mr. Kim hasn’t been involved in any scandals, nor has his son, but Lu Han doesn’t believe there’s such a thing as a rich businessman no one hates. Not in Beijing.

 

“The shadows will be our doom… how exactly?” asks Zitao, who’s finally fully woken up from his little nap. Everyone looks expectantly at Jongdae but "the brain of the team" only shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe he’s planning to escape in the dark? I mean, he’s going to appear in the middle of the night. And he'll probably cut off the electricity. We should prepare for that too.”

 

 _Makes sense,_ Lu Han thinks.  _Shadows are dark like the night. Easy to disappear into._

 

…

 

Except the night isn’t dark at all. Not with all these spotlights.

 

They’ve finally arrived at the Sunset Mansion, located about 20 kilometers south from the outskirts of Beijing. The outside of the mansion is flooded with flashing lights from the multiple police cars. Each side of the mansion has at least ten giant spotlights pointed at it, and the building looks brighter than it would in the middle of the day. Xiumin’s going to have a hard time even getting into the mansion, let alone getting out of there with the stolen jewel in his pocket.

 

Lu Han knows he’s staring at the lit-up mansion with an awed expression, but he can’t help it. This is how a grand police operation looks like, and he’s about to experience it all for the first time.

 

… Even if his experience is going to happen in the toilet at the very end of the north-east wing. In other words, the very opposite direction from the actual action. Still, Lu Han doesn’t want to whine too much, at least while Kris is in the same room giving him directions. It could be worse — he could be home sleeping and missing out on everything. This is a good enough starting point for him. The next time Xiumin appears (provided he isn’t caught tonight), Lu Han’s going to make sure he’s a little closer to the actual scene where the crime is supposed to take place. But for now, this toilet will have to do.

 

“And remember”, Kris warns him for the umpteenth time, “if you hear yelling or any other noises, just let them be and guard this toilet to the best of your ability. I’d really hate if something were to happen to you.”

 

Lu Han resists the urge to roll his eyes. Like there’s even anything to guard in the bathroom. Kris treats him like a five-year-old kid instead of someone who just graduated from the police academy. Lu Han isn’t a complete novice, he’s had months of serious training, for god’s sake. Kris seems to notice the slight dissatisfaction on Lu Han’s face, because he pats him on the shoulder.

 

“Look, I know. You’re thinking your skills are going to waste here and I agree, but… Sorry, we were somewhat disoriented when you arrived, so I haven’t had time to train you properly for this. But after tonight, let me look into your profile and academy results properly. You’re going to get your action, Lu Han. Even if it requires some more all-nighters from me.”

 

Lu Han, almost moved by Kris’s words, salutes the inspector and puffs out his chest. “I’ll protect this toilet to the best of my ability the whole night… and… if Xiumin comes this way, I’ll use all the means I have to catch him!”

 

There’s something like a smile on Kris’s lips when he turns to leave the bathroom. Before closing the door and leaving Lu Han inside, he checks one more thing. “You threw away the bullets, right?”

 

As an odd rule, the police officers participating in tonight’s operation are all carrying empty guns with them. Kris doesn’t want anyone to shoot Xiumin by accident, so the officers haven’t brought bullets since the first few cases. It’s not like the police has some sort of sympathy towards the thief. It’s more like… because there’s this mysterious aura surrounding the burglar, Kris would hate to never find out anything about Xiumin. Like why he only steals things from Mr. Kim and returns them, or why he tells the police beforehand. So there’s no way Kris would risk someone accidentally shooting the thief during an operation. Xiumin, of course, doesn’t have a clue that none of the weapons the officers are carrying are loaded.

 

Kris really wants to catch Xiumin alive rather than dead. The thief is the media’s favorite too, and there are a lot of people looking forward to hearing what Xiumin will target next. The police are already the laughing stock of the city, as they still haven’t managed to catch the slippery criminal despite multiple attempts. The last thing Kris wants is for the public to start hating the police forces because they brutally killed everyone’s favorite little thief.

 

“Of course I did”, Lu Han replies and hopes his voice doesn’t falter. He threw away _almost_ all of his bullets. He just left one. One tiny bullet. If the police academy taught him something, it was to never go after criminals without any bullets in your gun. He’s not planning to shoot Xiumin, of course, but you never know what could happen. Xiumin isn’t violent — or at least hasn’t been so far — but he’s still on the opposite side of the law. That one tiny bullet inside Lu Han’s gun brings him some sort of safety and comfort when facing against the criminal no one’s caught yet.

 

“Good”, Kris replies and waves his hand. “I’ll call you over the radiophone when the whole situation is over. The next time we see each other, we’ll hopefully have an extra person to take to the station with us.” And with that remark he closes the door, leaving Lu Han alone in the spacious bathroom. At least it’s the fanciest toilet the rookie constable has ever been in. There’s marble and empty space all around him, and even two sinks. ( _Why, though? When you only have one toilet seat, why would you need two sinks_ , Lu Han ponders.) It’s like someone designed this room to be another bedroom, made it big enough for that purpose, and in the end used the room as a toilet instead. Rich people — Lu Han will never understand them.

 

But this isn’t the time to think about wealthy people. Lu Han slaps his cheeks twice and gathers his concentration. He wasn’t kidding when he said he was going to guard this bathroom to the best of his ability. His wristwatch shows the time — 0.37 am. Xiumin isn’t supposed to strike before 2 am, but that doesn’t mean Lu Han can slack off until then. He’s making sure Xiumin isn’t going to enter the mansion through the lonely window to his right. Positioning himself to face the window while still being able to see the door, Lu Han cracks his neck and starts waiting with a determined expression on his face.

 

With some more slaps on his face to ensure he isn’t falling asleep, Lu Han manages to keep an eye on the window and the door for almost an hour and a half. He’s about to smack his already red cheeks one more time because his eyes are getting heavy again, when a sudden noise gives him a total wake-up call.

 

There’s a faint yelling coming from the other side of the mansion, and Lu Han immediately knows Xiumin has finally appeared. He glances at his wristwatch. Exactly 2 am. There’s nothing Lu Han would like more than to run towards the sound and see Xiumin in action with his very own eyes, but he knows he can’t. His position is in the toilet, and if every cop started to act on their own, these kinds of huge operations would be a total mess. So he stays still and listens to every single sound that carries to his side of the building. The yelling hasn’t stopped, so Lu Han assumes Xiumin is still free. Then there’s a sudden silence before cries of a different kind fill the air. They sound angrier compared to the surprised ones earlier. Xiumin must have escaped. Again.

 

Checking his watch once more, Lu Han sees it display 2.03 am. It only took the thief three minutes to get in and out. Probably with the Little Red Tear in his pocket. Lu Han’s been excited for this ‘event’ the whole day, but now that the action’s over, he feels deflated. He didn’t really experience anything. He didn’t see Xiumin, didn’t see how he entered and then escaped. He was technically part of the operation, but was he really? Standing alone in a large toilet for two hours… For the first time in ages, Lu Han feels his mood slowly dampen. This really wasn’t as exciting a night as he had imagined it would be.

 

At least not until there’s a small noise coming from above him. Lu Han barely has time to look up before the cover of the large air ventilation system opens — or rather, falls down together with a black figure.

 

Right on top of Lu Han.

 

He doesn’t have time to react when the air escapes his lungs, squashed by the falling person. It leaves Lu Han feeling dizzy and disoriented for a few seconds. The person who fell is taken by surprise too and ends up being a messy pile of limbs on top of Lu Han. When Lu Han finally gets fresh air in his lungs again, the first thing he does is groan. His head hurts… no, his whole body hurts. He cracks one of his eyes open and sees a pair of icy blue eyes staring at him behind a ski mask. He’d recognize that icy stare anywhere.

 

_Xiumin._

Hit with the sudden realization of who the man on top of him is, Lu Han quickly tries to reach for his gun, but Xiumin has recovered too and is faster than him. He skillfully pins both of Lu Han’s arms over his head using his hands, and just from that, Lu Han can tell Xiumin has powerful arms. It’s a detail he hasn’t seen mentioned anywhere. Perhaps it’s because the police officers rarely get close enough to touch Xiumin before he makes his escape.

 

“And who do we have here, huh?” Xiumin coos at Lu Han, his voice muffled by the ski mask he’s wearing. It’s lower than Lu Han had imagined but still fitting for the thief. Only by snapping his mouth closed does Lu Han avoid giving out his usual loud _constable Lu Han at your service_ -greeting. He won’t help the thief by revealing his name. When their eyes meet, Lu Han can see Xiumin’s eyes widen for a second for some reason before they leave Lu Han’s face. Xiumin’s gaze wanders over Lu Han’s upper torso, noticing the shining badge on his chest.

 

“A constable? When did they let cute babies like you join the force? Shouldn’t you still be in high school?” Xiumin taunts him, making Lu Han forget all about keeping his cool around the thief.

 

“I’m not cute!? I’m handsome! And I’m twenty-five, not some high schooler!” Lu Han grits through his teeth, struggling to get free. The other’s strong grip around his hands doesn’t budge. He’s sitting on Lu Han’s waist, and no matter how Lu Han tries to use his legs to kick the criminal, there’s no effect.

 

“Oh, I believe you, Cutie Constable. I can feel all your twenty-five years poking at my ass“, Xiumin smirks. Or at least Lu Han thinks he smirks. He can’t actually see what kind of expression Xiumin is making under that ski mask, but his eyes have a devious glint in them. The dirty remark makes heat creep up Lu Han’s face, even though Xiumin is clearly lying.

 

“Fuck off! There’s absolutely nothing poking you!” He shouts angrily.

 

“Not even your gun?” Xiumin murmurs, sounding disappointed. “You’re no fun, Cutie Constable.” Lu Han tries to kick him again, but it’s no use. He’s completely trapped under Xiumin. The thief’s strong legs and arms don’t give in even one millimeter, and Lu Han can do nothing but stare at him and try to memorize as many details as he can for future reference. His eyes wander lower on Xiumin’s body, and despite the black clothes not being tight-fitting, Lu Han can tell Xiumin’s body is muscular. Then his eyes catch on something — a familiar shape in Xiumin’s front pockets.

 

“The Little Red Tear! You stole it!” Lu Han yells. Xiumin tilts his head, trying to look innocent.

 

“That’s what a thief does. Steals things. Or didn’t Cutie Constable get the memo? I’m sure I sent it to the right address…”

 

“Stop calling me Cutie Constable and give it back this instant!” Lu Han roars, getting more and more embarrassed every time Xiumin calls him by that stupid title.

 

“Cutie Constable is really in no position to make demands”, Xiumin says with a cheery tone. Lu Han settles for glaring at the thief instead of saying anything. This Xiumin he’s meeting is completely different from the image he had of the criminal. Reading news about the other man always made him seem cool and collected. Maybe a little cold, surrounded by a mysterious aura. Lu Han had always pictured Xiumin as a serious person who committed his crimes efficiently. He’d never imagined that Xiumin could be this… obnoxious and downright flirty. Almost like one those playboys who rent the whole club just for their small circle of friends and some girls they had picked from the streets. Gone is the quiet and gentleman-y cat thief, replaced by this repulsive flirt who seems to think this whole robbery is just some kind of game. Then again, he probably wouldn’t have sent calling cards beforehand if he didn’t get some kind of sick satisfaction out of frustrating the police.

 

“You’re a filthy thief, you have even less rights to make demands!” Lu Han can’t hide his anger anymore. If he could free just one of his hands, he’d be able to turn this situation literally upside down and pin Xiumin against the floor instead.

 

… purely for the purpose of catching him, of course.

 

“Tsk, tsk. Watch your language, Cutie Constable. I’ll let you know that I’m _clean.”_ Xiumin purrs, actually _purrs_. The press is right in calling him the cat thief. Lu Han feels himself getting embarrassed and annoyed at yet another innuendo. This isn’t what the police academy trained him for. He’s only been taught how to deal with criminals pointing guns at you, not what to do when they’re clearly flirting with you.

 

Xiumin shifts his weight a bit, removing one of his hands from Lu Han’s wrists but still holding the constable down. He caresses Lu Han’s smooth cheek with his gloved hand, and this close, Lu Han can smell the leather. “Would you like to test it yourself…?” Xiumin mutters, making Lu Han blink. The thief’s face is suddenly very close to Lu Han’s, and Xiumin whispers his next words practically right into Lu Han’s right ear.

 

“I don’t mind if it’s a cutie like you~ “

 

But Lu Han does mind. He has no desire to test anything with the thief, other than how handcuffs fit him. Before Xiumin decides to hold him down with two hands again, Lu Han gathers all his strength to his arms and manages to jerk them upwards, taking the thief by surprise. Lurching his whole upper body forward, Lu Han makes Xiumin lose his grip and fall slightly backwards. That’s all Lu Han needs as he uses his torso to push Xiumin back even more, freeing his legs and basically tackling the other to the ground. Xiumin recovers fast enough to dodge the punch Lu Han sends towards him and kicks the constable on the thigh to free himself. Lu Han curses but stumbles after the thief anyway, managing to catch Xiumin’s ankle before he gets up and pulling it to make the criminal fall back to the floor.

 

“And I don’t mind if a filthy criminal like you ends up behind bars”, Lu Han finally retorts when he successfully manages to pin Xiumin under him. Using his whole body, Lu Han forces Xiumin’s left hand between their bodies and enjoys the little wince the thief lets out when his arm gets forcefully bent to an unnatural position. Lu Han holds Xiumin’s other wrist above his head.

 

“Not so smug anymore, are you?” Lu Han breathes heavily against Xiumin’s face mask. His gaze is met with a pair of blue eyes that don’t look panicked at all despite the situation the thief is in.

 

“If you wanted me under you this badly, you could have just asked, Cutie Constable”, Xiumin boldly flirts and dares to wink, knowing it will drive Lu Han crazy. As it does.

 

“You fucker...!” The constable glares at Xiumin to the best of his ability, but it only causes the thief to giggle under his mask, making it sound all muffled. Lu Han is starting to think there’s a horny teenage girl under that mask rather than the adult male they all think Xiumin is. If only he had a third arm so he could rip off that mask and reveal Xiumin’s stupid face to the whole world.

 

“But as much as I’ve enjoyed _wrestling_ with you, I’m afraid I have to go. I’m on a tight schedule tonight.” Xiumin lets out a disappointed sigh.

 

“You won’t be going anywhere!” Lu Han growls and tightens his grip on the hand above Xiumin’s head. He knows Kris will come check on him if he doesn’t answer his radiophone, so he’ll just have to hold Xiumin down until then.

 

“The thing in my hand says otherwise”, Xiumin taunts Lu Han, and despite everything he’s been taught, the constable quickly lifts his gaze to the hand he’s holding. The moment he sees something in Xiumin’s hand, he knows he’s made a huge mistake. Lu Han can barely hear the thief whispering “see you later, Cutie Constable” with that sultry voice of his when the small ball in Xiumin’s hand flashes bright. Too bright. Lu Han lets go of Xiumin and covers his eyes by instinct, but it’s too late. The ball’s sudden flash blinds him, and for a moment he can’t see anything.

 

It’s a moment long enough for the thief under him. Lu Han tries to fight back, but without seeing anything, there’s no way he can avoid a jab to his side. It makes him topple backwards, making it easier for Xiumin to push him aside and finally free his other hand. Lu Han makes a desperate attempt at grabbing the thief, but only manages to rip off a piece of his clothing before Xiumin is out of his grasp. There’s the sound of a window being forcefully opened and Lu Han surges towards it — but he’s too late. He can feel cold air hitting his face, and then the thief’s presence is gone. Despite not being able to open his eyes properly yet, Lu Han can sense the sudden darkness taking over in front of his eyelids. He can hear the surprised yells of the policemen outside as a dark curtain falls over the whole mansion.

 

Xiumin has somehow managed to shut down all their spotlights.

 

The darkness only last for a few seconds, but after the lights are back on, everyone already knows they’ve lost their chance. There’s no trace of Xiumin, and the police has failed to catch the slippery thief once more. Lu Han lies on the floor, groaning. The press is going to have a field day. He can already imagine the headlines for tomorrow: _“_ _C_ _at thief_ _leaves_ _police_ _empty-handed_ _again_ ”.

 

… Or not, Lu Han realizes when he finally manages to crack his eyes open and see something again. There’s a small piece of black fabric in his hand. Finally something they can run tests on and hopefully gain some data. But there’s also something more important. Something that shines in the light coming from the spotlights outside. Something that colors Lu Han’s hand red when the picks it up from the floor. The Little Red Tear.

 

Lu Han can’t believe his eyes. Why is it here? Then he looks at the piece of torn fabric in his hand again. Of course — he must have ripped open the pocket where Xiumin was keeping the stolen jewel when he tried to get a grip on the escaping thief.  During their struggle, Xiumin must not have noticed the gem fall out of his pocket. Lu Han turns the ruby in his hand. It’s a small victory, getting the stolen item back before Xiumin mockingly returns it himself. But still, it’s something.

 

It’s something for Kris too, when he barges into the toilets after trying to contact Lu Han multiple times without getting a response. Xiumin must have kicked Lu Han’s radiophone and broken it when they were fighting. The leader of Unit M finds Lu Han sitting on the floor, holding the pricey ruby between his fingers and smirking when he sees the inspector.

 

“Told you I wasn’t going to be useless”, Lu Han says with his most confident tone, and Kris can’t help but stare at the sight before his eyes. He opens his mouth but closes it right away, only to open it again. Lu Han enjoys every second of it. Seeing the other so speechless almost makes up for the fact that Xiumin managed to escape from him.

 

“Is that…? How…?” Kris finally manages to form words, his eyes never leaving the Little Red Tear.

 

“Apparently, this bathroom happened to be the end of Xiumin’s escape route”, Lu Han smugly explains. “Too bad I didn’t manage to catch him, but at least I got this back from his dirty hands.” He stands up and pushes the ruby into Kris’s hands. “Maybe you should let Mr. Kim and Mr. Lee know today’s operation wasn’t all in vain.” Then he exits the toilet, leaving Kris, who’s still too stunned to move, clutching the Little Red Tear in his palm. Lu Han can’t wait to see the admiration on Zitao’s face when he tells the younger how he heroically fought Xiumin and got the stolen item back. Maybe there will even be some nice words about the operation in tomorrow’s newspapers.

 

…

 

They still get brutally crushed by the press.

 

It doesn’t matter that Lu Han managed to get back the Little Red Tear and almost caught Xiumin, too. The press only cares about the fact that the police screwed up once again and failed to stop Xiumin from escaping.

 

“Shots were fired in panic when Xiumin blinded the officers, making the whole room a hazardous scene”, Lu Han reads from the morning’s newspaper. It’s another front-page story with a huge picture of the lit-up mansion. (Of course, there’s also a mention of wasting the taxpayers’ money on those huge spotlights when they didn’t help at all.)

 

“That’s total bullshit.” Zitao slams his fist on the table. He’s annoyed — and he’s not the only one. Everyone in Unit M is having a crappy morning thanks to the news article, which seems to be written by a person who wasn’t even at the crime scene. Even Yixing, who’s usually chipper after getting his morning coffee, lays on the floor looking sullen. Or maybe it’s the fact that no one’s had time to get coffee from the nearby coffeeshop, and he had to borrow instant coffee from the officers upstairs.

 

“I agree”, Jongdae says, sounding tired. He’s been writing reports all night. “There were exactly zero shots fired. How could we use our guns when we don’t even carry bullets with us? I swear _Morning Sun_ just writes whatever they want to ruin our image.”

 

“I guess they’re still bitter about the time when we exposed the few corrupted journalists in their ranks”, Kris sighs, his eyes not leaving the computer screen. “Nothing we can do about it for now. Let’s just be happy Luhan got the Little Red Tear back.”

 

“And that piece of fabric”, Lu Han pipes up. “Have you looked into it yet, Yixing?”

 

“No”, is the only answer Lu Han gets from the tired scientist. He doesn’t want to push it, because to be honest, he finds Yixing kind of eerie. Like you push his buttons one too many times and the man could lose it. Yixing seems like a sweet person (not that Lu Han’s really had a lot of chances to talk to him, as the other man spends the majority of his time in his lab), but there’s this scary, crazy glint in his eyes whenever someone mentions his inventions. Or coffee. Yixing reminds Lu Han of some sort of a mad scientist, and he’s not entirely sure why the younger man joined the police force in the first place. Maybe they haven’t found any other analytics to join their ranks and Yixing is the closest one they could hire. Maybe. Lu Han isn’t planning to ask about it anytime soon. At least not until the man has got some proper coffee in him.

 

“I say the first thing Yixing’s going to look into are those light balls Xiumin used for his escape.” Kris finally stops typing and pushes his glasses up. “I’m having a hell of a time trying to explain what exactly they did…”

 

Lu Han apparently hadn’t been the only one Xiumin had used his strange balls on. His calling card had mentioned the shadows in the Crystal room being the police’s doom, but no one had thought he’d cut off the electricity and then light up the room with multiple small light-emitting balls. Together with the flashlights the police officers had and the multiple pedestals, the rolling balls had created moving shadows that filled the Crystal room. It had been impossible to spot which shadow belonged to Xiumin. In the end, according to Kris, the thief had managed to escape into the air ventilation system. They had found an abandoned police officer uniform there, probably from the time when an officer had been sent to check the vents in case Xiumin was hiding inside. If only whoever gave that command had known the officer was actually Xiumin in disguise. From there, the thief had dropped into the bathroom where Lu Han had been waiting. When the other officers were still trying to turn off the blinding metallic balls, Xiumin was probably already fighting the rookie constable.

 

“He used one against you too, right, gege?” Zitao asks, leaning his head against his hand. Lu Han nods. He had told the others _almost_ everything that had happened. How Xiumin had fallen down from the air ventilation system, how they had fought, and how Lu Han had managed to rip a piece of clothing from Xiumin and secure the Little Red Tear by accident. He had told them how, despite all of his efforts, Xiumin had managed to escape through the window in the end. Lu Han had only left out the tiny detail of Xiumin being an aggressive flirt and calling him ‘Cutie Constable’ every five seconds. There are some things even Unit M doesn’t need to know. Besides, it’s not like Xiumin flirting with him is an important case detail. Lu Han will keep it to himself. For now.

 

“Not bad for a rookie cop, getting the Little Red Tear back”, Jongdae smirks. “I think we can definitely use you.”

 

That immediately lifts Lu Han’s mood. “You’ll actually let me join the action next time!?” His pleading eyes are fixed on Kris, who has no other option but to give in.

 

“I guess I did promise that. And I agree with Jongdae. You did well.”

 

Lu Han pumps his fist in the air, smiling like a madman. Zitao winces and hides behind Jongdae, not wanting to see his gege’s crazy face anymore. Lu Han doesn’t even care that he’s scaring the youngest guy in the unit. He’s finally started to earn his well-deserved respect from Unit M. They finally see him as a full-fledged constable rather than a rookie who’s only good for getting cof—

 

“But first… why don’t you get us some real coffee from that shop, before all life leaves Xing”, Kris smirks behind his computer, making Lu Han’s own smile fall in seconds.

 

Seems like he still has some proving to do, after all.

 


	2. The Case Of The Fallen Snow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta, P, is amazing!!

 “Hey, you! Don’t just stand there! Get in position already!”

 

Lu Han doesn’t have time to argue that he wasn’t _standing_ , he was walking towards his designated spot, when the older officer pushes him forward, not caring in the slightest that it makes Lu Han stumble. Hastening his steps, Lu Han jogs towards the place he’s been assigned.

 

That pushing incident wasn’t the first one tonight. The way the older officers push and pull him around annoys Lu Han a little. There are 40 minutes left until Xiumin is supposed to make his appearance, and the majority of the officers are still scattered around the yard, yet Lu Han is the one getting lectured all the time. Earlier in the day, someone, clearly a higher rank than him, had complained that Lu Han’s hat wasn’t straight on his head. Faking an apologetic smile, Lu Han had fixed his hat and bitten back all his ugly comments; they’re here to catch Xiumin, not to get scouted for a fashion magazine. It seems that word about Lu Han being a new constable has spread around, making all the older officers target him.

 

Still, Lu Han won’t complain. At least this time around, he’s not guarding some distant bathroom. He’s in the middle of the action.

 

Well, almost in the middle of it.

 

Kris and Zitao have gone inside the art museum. Its main hall is where Xiumin is supposed to strike tonight. Jongdae is looking over the operation from a nearby van filled with computers, while Yixing hasn’t even bothered to show up. There isn’t much to their forensic scientist do at the scene before the crime even happens. And Lu Han’s here on site, too. Not in the main exhibit room, or even in the building, but at least this time he’s surrounded by other officers instead of hiding somewhere alone. They’re outside the building, guarding the windows and other possible exits, making sure Xiumin won’t be able to escape.

 

Lu Han finally reaches his spot and makes sure his posture and hat are both in a straight line. He won’t have anyone else complaining about something to him tonight. Lu Han looks at the guy on his right and the other one on his left, making sure they don’t have blue catlike eyes. The incident at the Sunset Mansion wasn’t the first or the last time Xiumin had disguised himself as one of the police officers. Maybe the press constantly calling the police force brainless isn’t just a baseless accusation, after all…

 

… But now that constable Lu Han is here, things are going to be different! He’s probably the only one who’s been close to the nasty thief, so technically, he’s the most experienced of all the policemen here. No one else knows how powerful Xiumin’s arms are (no, wait, they do know since Lu Han totally mentioned that in his report). Or that his ass is anything but soft, implying that he doesn’t have an ass. (Lu Han sneaks a peek at the backside of the officer next to him — definitely not Xiumin, not with that plump bottom). He’d have added that to the report, too, if it wouldn’t have raised awkward questions from Kris.

 

Basically, it’s only a matter of time before Xiumin is caught thanks to Lu Han’s amazing deduction skills. Feeling proud of himself, Lu Han smirks to no one. He hopes Xiumin uses the window next to Lu Han as his escape route, so that the rookie constable can have his hands on his body soon.

 

To catch the thief, of course. In his mind, Lu Han can already hear the click of the handcuffs as they close around Xiumin’s delicate wrists. He can picture the dissatisfaction on the thief’s face when he realizes he flirted with the wrong constable.

 

… Messed. Messed with the wrong constable, Lu Han is quick to correct himself. He hasn’t been thinking about Xiumin’s vulgar behavior at all.

 

Okay, maybe he’s been thinking about it a little. But only for the sake of discovering more information about the criminal. Based on that one encounter, Lu Han can’t yet say whether Xiumin likes guys or just wanted to rile up Lu Han for fun. Or both. No female (or male) officers have ever mentioned Xiumin flirting with them. (Yes, Kris finally allowed Lu Han to read case files again after the constable successfully recovered the Little Red Tear.) But then again, no one has ever been alone in a room with the thief long enough for any flirting to possibly happen (or maybe they’re like Lu Han and haven’t dared to tell anyone). So, Lu Han can’t quite barge into local gay clubs to find out who’s the biggest playboy around here and see if the guy has an ass or not.

 

“Please keep your eyes straight ahead”, the police officer next to Lu Han suddenly comments, sounding a little awkward. Lu Han realizes his eyes are still firmly on the officer’s round bottom. Face burning, he quickly lifts his gaze back up, muttering apologies. The tall officer on Lu Han’s right side chuckles.

 

“Don’t worry, kiddo, not the first time someone’s been eyeing officer Do’s bum.”

 

Before Lu Han can even start to explain himself (or correct the policeman that he’s not a kid), the shorter of the two officers interrupts him with a low grunt.

 

“Shut up, Park.” And with that remark, silence falls over the trio. Lu Han gets rid of his unnecessary thoughts and steels his mind for the task at hand. He might have let Xiumin escape last time, but that’s not happening tonight.

 

… Except it is, Lu Han realizes after half an hour when he witnesses a dark figure running on the roof of the museum with a bunch of yelling officers chasing after it. Xiumin didn’t try to escape through the windows, like Lu Han had hoped, but used the roof instead. There’s a full moon illuminating the scene, and Xiumin’s tiny body carrying a stolen painting basks in its light. The thief gracefully jumps over an old chimney and continues running the moment his feet hit the roof’s surface again. He looks so light in his steps that Lu Han has a hard time believing the thief could store such strength in his arms.

 

In no time Xiumin is on the edge of the roof, police officers rapidly closing in on him. The distance between the museum and the next building is too wide to jump over, and for a second, Lu Han foolishly thinks that this is going to be it. That they’ll finally catch the slippery criminal. He even feels slightly upset that it wasn’t him who got to do the honors. Xiumin hops back from the edge and faces the running policemen. He raises his hand, the one holding the small stolen painting.

 

“Thanks for this. I’ll be sure to return it to you soon, haha”, the thief laughs and waves his free hand at his audience. Then he picks something up from the edge.

 

Lu Han doesn’t immediately understand what the object is. Not before Xiumin places the invisible object in thin air, and hops on it, making it look like he’s standing on nothing. Except there is something, Lu Han realizes. Xiumin is standing on a thin and narrow glass panel that acts as a bridge between the two buildings. He must have somehow hidden it on the edge of the museum’s rooftop, where it wasn’t easily spotted unless you knew it was there.

 

Lu Han can’t do anything but watch Xiumin run to the other side and pick something up. Too late, Lu Han, together with everyone else, realizes it’s a stone. The thief spares one last look at the officers on the other side of the panel, just about to step on it. Then Xiumin smashes the rock against the glass panel, shattering it into thousands of tiny shards.

 

There’s no way for the policemen to chase after him now. There should be troops located on the building next to the museum but seeing Xiumin being so calm makes Lu Han think the thief took care of them before entering the museum. They can only helplessly watch as Xiumin disappears into the shadows created by other, taller buildings that block the moon. From there on, the rooftops are close enough to each other to create endless escape routes for Xiumin. With the shadows hiding the thief, the police have no idea which direction Xiumin decides to flee. Lu Han sighs. This time, nobody even managed to get the stolen item back before Xiumin escaped. He can hear officer Park or Do sigh too, and it pretty much sums up everyone’s mood for tonight.

 

(Except Yixing’s, as they find out after returning to the station. While the rest of Unit M was out trying to capture Xiumin, Yixing invented a spoon that mixes sugar and milk automatically into coffee, and he couldn’t be more excited about it. Kris is tired enough to only lightly smack Yixing on the head before telling him to go the museum and get to work.)

 

…

 

Lu Han feels like he’s barely managed to close his eyes before he’s already up again and behind Unit M’s door, ready to start another day. Covering his yawn with his hand, Lu Han opens the door and is greeted with angry yelling. The only one of his co-workers present is Kris, as usual. (Lu Han thinks he probably hasn’t gone home at all — his suit looks wrinkled, like he’s slept in it.) But he’s not the one who’s yelling — he’s on the receiving end. The older man making all the racket has his back against the door, and Lu Han manages to slip inside without the man noticing. Kris gives him a quick glance to acknowledge Lu Han’s presence. A younger guy standing near Kris’s table seems to notice Lu Han’s arrival too, as his eyes briefly flicker to the constable.

 

He probably shouldn’t interrupt the old man, but Kris looks like any kind of distraction would be welcomed, so Lu Han greets the inspector with a loud “morning”. It has the desired result, as the old man stops yelling and turns around. Lu Han nods at him but stops halfway through when he realizes he knows that face.

 

It’s Mr. Kim. The one who Xiumin keeps stealing stuff from. No wonder he had sounded pissed off. After seeing the man’s angry glare pointed at him, Lu Han regrets opening his mouth.

 

Before Mr. Kim starts lashing out at Lu Han too, Kris stands up from his seat. “This is Lu Han, our new constable. He is the one who was able to retrieve the Little Red Tear,” Kris hastily explains, as if looking for something to calm Mr. Kim’s anger. Lu Han nods again, not sure if he should say anything. He feels like one wrong word could set the man off again. He really hopes Yixing doesn’t come waltzing in, complaining about lack of coffee.

 

“You got it back but still refuse to return it to me like all the other items that little fucker has stolen from me”, Mr. Kim spits and takes a step towards Lu Han. Lu Han takes one backwards. He would prefer not to get strangled in his workplace. Kris is quick to smooth over the situation. “I apologize, but they must stay here as evidence until the investigation has come to an end. Standard protocol, so I hope you can understand.”

 

Mr. Kim looks like he doesn’t want to understand, so Kris quickly adds, “You will have them back once Xiumin has been caught and this case is closed.” That, however, just adds fuel to Mr. Kim’s flames.

 

“When he’s caught. When the hell will that be!? That bastard has been running free for more than six months already, and it seems that you’re just a bunch of incompetent fools who can’t catch one measly criminal!” Mr. Kim roars, and that seems to be the last straw for the guy next to him, as he’s quick to pat Mr. Kim’s shoulder.

 

“Father, please. Behave. I know you’re frustrated, but you can’t just lash out at the police. They’ll have you arrested.”

 

That seems to do the trick — for now. Mr. Kim takes a deep breath, and some of the redness caused by his anger leaves his face. To further cool the man down, Kris picks up some of the recent reports and starts showing them to the older man. He’s trying to prove that the police are at least a little closer to catching Xiumin than they were a few weeks ago.

 

Lu Han still stands awkwardly near the doorway, not sure what he should do. There are reports to write, but he needs more details from Kris for those. The young man with black slicked back hair also looks like he doesn’t know what he should be doing. Their gazes meet for a moment before Lu Han turns his head away. He’s not good at dealing with rich people.

 

The other man seems to take their eyes meeting as an invitation to get closer to Lu Han, and the constable soon finds himself shaking hands with the man.

 

“Kim Junmyeon”, the man introduces himself. There’s a peaceful aura surrounding Mr. Kim’s son, and he seems like the opposite of his short-tempered father. Junmyeon’s smile is kind and it makes Lu Han feel like he just had a very relaxing cup of green tea. Lu Han’s read about Kim Junmyeon. Top grades in Beijing’s top university. He’s expected to take over the Kim empire one day when Mr. Kim finally decides to retire from the business world. Junmyeon is younger than Lu Han, but seeing him in a designer suits and hair stylishly pulled back makes the constable feel like he’s the younger one instead.  

 

“Nice to meet you.” Lu Han smiles back. There’s a possibility that Kim Junmyeon is an asshole hiding behind a nice smile, but to Lu Han, the smile seems genuine. He wants to believe Junmyeon is a good person despite being the son of a very rich (and rude) businessman.

 

“Sorry about my father.” Junmyeon smiles awkwardly, trying to ignore the fact that Mr. Kim’s voice has started to rise again. It seems Kris has failed to appease the man. Lu Han grins at Junmyeon. “Don’t worry about it. Sorry we haven’t caught Xiumin yet.”

 

Junmyeon only shakes his head. “But you’re doing the best you can. He’s going to get caught eventually. I have faith in the police.” Lu Han smiles at the statement and feels his confidence grow. Rich people aren’t all just bunch of assholes, it seems.

 

Of course, Mr. Kim begs to differ.

 

“Well, I don’t!” He interrupts, obviously having heard Junmyeon’s words. “Seems like they don’t even want to catch that damn thief. I guess you all just get paid for doing nothing and love seeing me suffer. Bunch of lazy bastards.”

 

Lu Han’s been listening to the businessman’s slander for a few minutes now, and he’s finally had enough. He throws an apologetic smile at Junmyeon before clearing his throat. “Well, if we’re such lazy bastards, perhaps we don’t need to bother the next time Xiumin sends a calling card? You can get your stuff back on your own instead of wasting our time. Coming here and complaining isn’t going to change anything when we’re clearly doing the best we can. Why don’t you go home and play pool or whatever you bored rich assholes do on your free time and leave us to do our work?”

 

Mr. Kim is stupefied, looking at Lu Han like he just grew a second head. Even Junmyeon struggles to keep his face neutral after seeing his father’s shocked expression. Lu Han guesses there aren’t a lot of people talking back to Mr. Kim. Wanting to be the one to show the rich guy his place at this station, Lu Han doesn’t let his stare falter. He won’t be listening to any more trash talk about the police forces. Especially coming from rich assholes.

 

Finally, Mr. Kim finds words. “And who on earth do you think you are to say those things to me?!”

 

Lu Han taps the shining badge on his chest. “Constable Lu Han at your service, _sir_.” Mr. Kim opens his mouth, but Lu Han’s faster. “I’ll make sure Xiumin ends up behind bars. But you gotta give us more time and let us do our work in peace, sir.” Mr. Kim doesn’t say anything, just glares at Lu Han, and the constable glares back. The tension between them is thick, but Lu Han isn’t going to be the one to let his gaze down first. After what feels like a small eternity, Mr. Kim turns his eyes towards Junmyeon.

 

“Let’s go.”

 

Junmyeon nods at Lu Han and Kris before silently following his father out of the door. Only when the heavy door closes does Lu Han let out a breath he’s been holding in. Behind him, Kris groans. “You’re a hothead. I should’ve known.”

 

“I won’t apologize for anything. I know our team works harder than anyone to catch Xiumin. That asshole knows nothing”, Lu Han states. He won’t take back his words.

 

“Who’s an asshole?” Comes a yawn from the door. “Did Kris-ge forbid Taozi from wearing that pink leather holster again?”

 

“No”, Kris sighs. “You’re late, Jongdae.”

 

Jongdae only shrugs. “Everyone is always late, except you and Luhan. I was home at like 4 am, you can’t seriously expect me to be at work four hours later. It’s a miracle I even came. And that being said… I’ll be napping in Xing’s lab. Wake me up at 1 pm.” Dropping his bag on the nearby table, Jongdae turns around and leaves the room as fast as he had entered it.

 

Lu Han barely has time to blink before it’s just him and Kris again. Knowing how tired Zitao is even during regular mornings, Lu Han seriously doubts the guy is even going to show up to work today. Kris seems to think the same.

 

“Can you write the strategy report on Tao’s behalf?”

 

Lu Han nods and thinks he’s probably lucky when Kris doesn’t say anything more about his outburst. The two of them begin to silently work on their reports. Zitao never shows up, and Yixing is busy the whole day collecting evidence at the previous night’s crime scene.

 

After his lunch break, Lu Han goes to wake up Jongdae, who’s curled up in a big chair covered by what seem to be one of Yixing’s extra lab coats. Lu Han carefully dodges all the weird machines and tables filled with bottles of colorful liquids. Yixing’s lab is a mess, and Lu Han prefers to stay far away from it. He once almost knocked down something that looked like a kind of glass orb, and Yixing lectured him for 20 minutes because of it. Jongdae is usually the only one who Yixing has no problem sharing his lab with — Kris, Zitao and Lu Han aren’t welcomed there with open arms. And it’s okay. Lu Han doesn’t really want to witness a caffeine-powered Yixing in his natural habitat, anyway.

 

Gently shaking Jongdae’s shoulders, Lu Han watches the officer groggily wake up. With a tired groan, Jongdae leaves his warm napping spot and drags himself in front of the computer.

 

It’s a silent workday for all three of them. Lu Han finds writing reports to be a tedious job, and half of the time he desperately fights against his drooping eyelids. They didn’t even have their usual morning coffee because the biggest caffeine baby wasn’t there to demand it. Lu Han briefly considers getting a takeaway coffee from their regular place on his way back home, but quickly abandons the idea. After the clock hits 4pm, he just wants to go to home and sleep until tomorrow morning.

 

That’s what he does, too. Once he’s back home, he kicks off his shoes, greets and feeds his cat, and falls on the sofa, not even caring to change out of his work clothes. Lu Han closes his eyes and drifts into sleep in less than two minutes.

 

When he wakes up, it’s dark all around him, and his cat has used Lu Han’s left leg as a scratching post again. That little devil, always hungry for attention.

 

“Goddamn, this is my third pair this month!” Lu Han groans when he sees the shredded mess that used to be his pants. “What did I ever do to you? I feed you and love you, what more do you want?” He yells to nobody, because his cat is clever enough to hide himself in Lu Han’s small apartment after being a naughty kitty. Lu Han knows he probably won’t be seeing it until a couple of days later. Maybe he’ll ask Xiumin for some cat training tips once the guy has been caught. He’s probably good with them since he keeps drawing cats on his calling cards and… purring.

 

Just thinking about the thief makes Lu Han feel annoyed. The way Xiumin keeps toying with the police and making them the joke of the town… Lu Han can’t wait for the day he’s allowed to rip the thief’s stupid mask off and tell him to pose for his mugshot. He and the rest of the officers will be the ones getting the last laugh. Mr. Kim will apologize for his behavior and the world will again start respecting the work the police do.

 

All that once Xiumin has been caught. Once Lu Han has personally caught him.

 

Suddenly not feeling sleepy at all, Lu Han switches on his laptop and clicks on the documents related to Xiumin. He’s already read them all, but one more time won’t hurt. Maybe he’ll learn something new about the thief that’ll help Lu Han catch him next time.

 

He scrolls through walls of text describing how Xiumin usually enters and leaves buildings. Lu Han tries to spot at least some kind of pattern, but there doesn’t seem to be one. The thief uses all the tricks he has at hand, either disguising himself or turning the police’s attention elsewhere so he can calmly exit the building. In one case, it was suspected that Xiumin waited for hours inside the building after stealing whatever he was after, until the police had left the scene. That was never fully proven, but Lu Han thinks it’s plausible. These kinds of tricks take a lot of preparation and patience, and that’s something Xiumin seems to have.

 

So, Lu Han should search for a huge (possibly gay) flirt that has a lot of patience? Sounds pretty much impossible, considering how many people there are in Beijing alone.

 

Then again, it’s a lot easier than teaching his cat to stop shredding his clothes every time he’s craving for his owner’s attention. Or anyone’s attention. Perhaps his cat is just lonely. On some level, Lu Han can relate (though at least he doesn’t resort to clawing his neighbor’s clothes just because he’s lonely). Having first focused on the police academy and then joined the force right after graduating has left him next to no time for relationships. Lu Han can barely remember the last time he seriously dated. Maybe in high school? Not that he wants a relationship most of the time, but sometimes when he’s at home like this, all the adrenaline worn off, Lu Han realizes just how quiet his apartment is. He doesn’t like to wallow in those kinds of (depressing) feelings too often, and that’s how he finds himself studying Xiumin even more these days.

 

Looking at all the newspaper clips he collected back when Xiumin first appeared, Lu Han thinks it’s destiny that he ended up working in Unit M. He usually keeps the articles neatly in a box, but nowadays they’re all spread out on his coffee table. It’s a miracle his cat hasn’t destroyed those too. Maybe he knows Lu Han wouldn’t forgive that.

 

Lu Han picks up one small faded piece of paper. There’s a picture of Xiumin holding a hairpin decorated with diamonds, one of the first items he had ever stolen. The shot was taken by a security camera before Xiumin had painted it black. Lu Han stares at the blue eyes and the heavy make-up surrounding them and finds himself unable to look away.

 

Even though catching Xiumin is at the top of Lu Han’s priority list, he also fears that moment. There’s playfulness in Xiumin’s blue eyes. They’re not like the eyes of other, hardboiled criminals who are only in it for money and power. There’s something different about Xiumin, something exceptional, and Lu Han can feel himself being drawn into that uniqueness. After getting involved with a thief this skillful, Lu Han is afraid the cases after Xiumin will all feel mundane and uninteresting. Which is the worst mindset he could have. Lu Han hits himself on the head. It’s not about how interesting the cases or the criminals are, it’s about making them obey the law. He should remember that.

 

He should also get some sleep. The time is nearing midnight, and despite the long nap he took, Lu Han can feel himself getting tired again. He turns off his laptop, scarfing down a banana and a couple of sandwiches before heading for bed. Lu Han throws his destroyed pants in the corner where he keeps the others, hoping he still has one spare pair left or he’ll have to go to work in sweatpants. He doubts Kris would appreciate it. Or Zitao, who probably hasn’t dressed badly in his entire life.

 

…

 

Wearing his last intact pair of blue trousers, Lu Han half jogs towards the already familiar coffee shop. The cool air hitting his face is just enough to wake Lu Han up despite him not getting nearly as much sleep as he’d been hoping for. At half past seven, Lu Han has enough time to fetch coffee for everyone before going to work. He has to finish writing his (well, Zitao’s) report today, and he doesn’t want to lose his focus in the middle of it. If the guys aren’t happy with the coffee he’s brought (mostly meaning Yixing), they can stop being lazy bastards and get it by themselves for once.

 

Opening the door to the coffee shop, Lu Han notices there are barely any customers in yet. Warmth envelopes his body immediately, making Lu Han quickly take off his scarf before he starts to sweat. The sweet aromas coming from coffee and different types of pastries are enough to make his mouth salivate. He didn’t have time to eat anything proper for breakfast, and that makes the sandwiches and cakes on display look even more tempting. Walking towards the counter, he eyes the chicken sandwiches hungrily, deciding he’ll really have to take one of those. And eat it before Zitao arrives at work, because there’s no way Lu Han can resist sharing his breakfast if the younger guy starts pouting at him (and there’s no way Zitao won’t pout — not if there’s a sandwich in sight).

 

“Someone’s early today”, Lu Han hears a warm, cutesy voice coming from behind the counter. He lifts his gaze and sees the barista smiling at him. Lu Han’s been to the shop enough times to recognize the red-haired barista and his uneven smile. It’s a surprise the man treats him like a regular, though. They haven’t really talked, as the man is usually cleaning behind the counter whenever Lu Han arrives to get his coffees before nine o’clock. Most of the time, Lu Han just mumbles his order to whichever barista happens to be at the counter, not really bothering with chitchat. He must have looked like a deer in the headlights, because the red-haired man chuckles at him.

 

“You’re hard to forget”, the barista adds, but that only increases Lu Han’s confusion. He can only stare at the barista with wide eyes, trying to figure out if they’ve talked more than he remembers. Lu Han quickly glances at the other guy working, who’s wiping the round tables. The droopy-eyed man is usually the one who takes Lu Han’s orders instead of the brown-eyed young man currently talking to him.

 

“Mr. Constable”, the man smiles, straightening the menu next to the cash register. “Not many officers get their coffee here, you see. So you stand out.” The barista explains, and finally Lu Han understands why he’s being treated like a regular. He lets out a small _oh_ before another question comes to his mind.

 

“How did you know I was a constable?”

 

The red-haired man nods at his chest, where Lu Han’s badge is attached to his shirt. Of course. Sometimes Lu Han wonders how he even graduated from Beijing’s Police Academy when stuff like this happens. Feeling embarrassed of his brain functioning too slowly, Lu Han clears his throat, trying to guide the conversation elsewhere.

 

“If you remember me, then you must also know what I’m about to order.” He doesn’t really expect the other guy to remember, especially since Yixing’s order keeps changing. And it’s not like he’s ordered coffee from this particular barista since the first time.

 

To Lu Han’s surprise, it doesn’t take too long before the barista has successfully named all the drinks Lu Han was about to buy. He even suggests a new drink for Yixing that sounds like something the forensic scientist would love. Lu Han can’t help but stare at the shorter guy in awe.

 

“Did I get them right?” The barista smiles cheekily. It’s not an arrogant smile — he just looks proud of himself. Lu Han slowly nods. “Yes…” Then, with more enthusiasm, he adds, “You have an amazing memory! Ever thought about joining the force?”

 

The barista shyly laughs at Lu Han’s suggestion, his cheeks reddening at the flattery. Lu Han watches him try to cover them with his small hands. “Thank you, but I’m pretty sure I’d be a hopeless police officer.”

 

“Don’t say that! Everyone can become a great officer if they put their mind to it!” Lu Han leans over the counter, encouraging the shy man. “I’m sure you would do well… er…” He eyes the tag on the barista’s chest, trying to read the name on it.

 

“Minseok.” The barista helps him when he realizes what Lu Han is trying to do. Lu Han raises his eyebrow at the information. The man’s name is clearly Korean, but he doesn’t have an accent like Jongdae does. Minseok must have been living in China for quite some time, Lu Han concludes in his mind.

 

“I’m sure you’d do well, Mingsok.” He smiles, wanting to give the barista more self-confidence.  

 

“Minseok.” The barista corrects Lu Han’s butchered pronunciation.

 

“Mingseok”, Lu Han tries again. Maybe that’s why Jongdae always tells him to call him JD instead. Lu Han clearly lacks something when it comes to trying to make Korean names sound right. The barista shakes his head at Lu Han’s lame attempt but doesn’t look upset. “You’ll get there one day, constable.”

 

“It’s Luhan”, Lu Han tells him. He thinks it’s only fair he gives Minseok his name, too.

 

“Luhan, huh… Will you be having an americano with extra sweetness today too?” Minseok pronounces his name perfectly. Lu Han makes a silent promise to practice pronouncing Minseok’s name at home so he’ll do a perfect job saying it out loud next time they talk.

 

“How about a latte this time instead? And for the rest of the orders, the usual, please. Plus one chicken sandwich”, Lu Han suggests. He’s stopped eyeing the chocolate cakes on display, but they’ve left him craving something sweeter than his usual Americano.

 

“Ooh, excellent choice. Do you mind if I make an attempt at latte art? I’ve been practicing it lately…” Minseok timidly asks, already walking towards the coffee machine. He prepares the drinks for the rest of Unit M first before making Lu Han’s latte. It’s probably a waste of time to do latte art on a take-away cup, but if it’s for practice the constable easily agrees.

 

“Go ahead”, Lu Han says, glancing around to see if there’s another customer waiting behind him. There isn’t, so Lu Han stays at the counter.

 

Minseok flashes him a smile and wipes his hands on his white apron. Lu Han watches the man’s eyebrows scrunch in concentration as he makes the latte. Being a barista seems to be serious business. Lu Han always thought it was just slapping some milk together with coffee, but Minseok would probably disagree. And Yixing. It’s better to keep any uneducated opinions about coffee away from that man. He’s seen the crazy machines Yixing makes at work (that may not always be work-related), and the last thing Lu Han wants is an army of robotic spoons attacking him just because he said something stupid, like how espresso could use some cream.

 

“How about a cat? I’m good at drawing those”, Minseok innocently asks. Lu Han grimaces at the thought of those meowing monsters. Sure, he’s a cat person and loves his cat, but right now just the thought of cats dampens his mood. And not just because of his own cat, either. Cats remind him of Xiumin too. Thinking about the thief makes Lu Han grit his teeth unconsciously.

 

“Not a fan of cats?” Minseok asks, worried when he sees Lu Han’s face darken. His voice sounds timid and apologetic. The barista probably thinks he accidentally offended Lu Han or something. It’s enough to make the picture of the thief fade from the constable’s mind.

 

Lu Han sees Minseok biting his lower lip and unsurely looking at him. It reminds Lu Han of those times when Zitao acts all cute for the sake of getting something he wants (or making someone else do his paperwork). Lu Han feels something tug at his heart — he’s never been able to resist cute things (his hello kitty phone case collection says hi). Especially if they’re sort of pouting at him.

 

“No, no.” He’s quick to deny the assumption. “I like cats! I love them, actually. I even own one myself. It’s just… they’ve been giving me gray hairs lately…” Lu Han explains. He’s not sure whether he’s talking about his cat or Xiumin, but Minseok doesn’t need to know that. After hearing Lu Han’s a cat person, Minseok’s face immediately lights up. “Ooh, a fellow cat lover! I have a cat too. A kinda bratty one.”

 

“My cat’s been acting out lately… Even though I’ve been spoiling him at every opportunity”, Lu Han complains, rubbing his forehead when he remembers the pile of shredded clothes waiting for him at home. He should probably get a girlfriend capable of sewing those back together, because there’s no way he’s taking them back to his mother to be fixed. There are some things that just aren’t acceptable for his manly pride.

 

Minseok smiles at Lu Han’s words, concentrating on drawing the cat figure on the constable’s latte. “Maybe that’s the problem. You’ve been spoiling him too much. Reminds me of Tan, my cat. He’s never had to share any of his toys with anyone and now he thinks he’s the king of the universe.”

 

Lu Han laughs after hearing the barista has similar cat problems. “Is there even a cat that isn’t a little spoiled?” He jokes but feels dead serious at the same time. He remembers Yixing’s cat, which he was forced to take care of for one day. That demon didn’t eat anything unless Lu Han crawled on his fours before the cat, offering food from his hand (wearing silk gloves too, ones that Yixing had kindly lent him).

 

“True. I guess most cats are used to getting what they want”, Minseok laughs. “Maybe we should get our cats together, give them just one toy and see how they deal with the situation.”

 

“Sure”, Lu Han hums in agreement. He’s pretty sure the barista is just making small talk and isn’t actually suggesting for them to meet up with their cats for real. It’s not like Lu Han would be opposed to it: he needs some friends, as his free time currently consists only of hanging out with his cat. He could always hang out with his co-workers from Unit M, but… Yixing still scares him, and Zitao’s free time seems to be filled with shopping sprees at designer boutiques Lu Han can’t afford in this life — or in the next one, either. It seems like Kris doesn’t even know the meaning of free time, and honestly, Lu Han still doesn’t know much about Jongdae, other than that the man is a walking Baidu search. Lu Han suspects the man spends all his free time in the library, sucking in more information. None of the guys really sound like they’d be up for a quick football match on a sunny Sunday morning.

 

“Here’s the latte you ordered.” Minseok puts the cup in front of Lu Han, pulling the constable out of his thoughts. “And here are the rest of the orders.” He types the orders in the register and Lu Han pulls out his wallet, ready to pay. Once he’s given the correct amount of money to Minseok, he glances at his latte before putting on a lid on the cup.

 

“…That’s a cat?” He blurts out. Maybe he’s been looking at Xiumin’s skillfully drawn smug cats for too long, but Minseok’s drawing looks more like a… _creature_ than a cat. The barista’s face falls at the comment, and Lu Han immediately curses his big mouth. His mother always scolded him for speaking before thinking (or pretty much doing anything before thinking), and it seems Lu Han’s bad habits are still there.

 

“Oh… I guess I wasn’t as good at drawing cats as I thought…” Minseok laughs awkwardly, rubbing his neck. The barista’s face sports a healthy pink color, telling Lu Han he’s feeling embarrassed.

 

“No, no! That was just my big mouth! It really looks like a cat! If I… If I squint my eyes and look at it from this angle, it’s the cutest cat I’ve ever seen!” Lu Han desperately tries to make the barista smile again. The guy makes amazing coffee, and the constable doesn’t want him to start spitting in their orders just because Lu Han made some stupid comment about his drawing skills.

 

“It’s alright. You don’t need to lie, I know I suck”, Minseok smiles, trying to ease Lu Han’s worries, but the constable still feels bad.

 

“No, you don’t! I mean it when I say that the cat is cute. Cuter than those ugly cats Xiumin draws, for example.” Lu Han keeps trying to fix his mistake and make the barista feel good about his latte art. Minseok bites his lip again, looking thoughtful. “I don’t know. I’ve seen his doodles in the newspapers. Way better than my sad attempts.”

 

Lu Han frantically shakes his head. “Nah, yours are better. Believe me, I’m a police officer.”

 

That finally makes Minseok laugh for real, his gums showing. “Okay, okay. I’ll believe you.” Lu Han is about to say something more when he happens to glance at the clock.

 

“Holy fuck, I gotta run before I’m late for work!” He grabs the coffees and the sandwich and quickly waves at Minseok. “Bye, have a nice day at work!” Then he bolts out of the door, missing Minseok’s soft “see you later, Cutie Constable.”

 

…

 

The next week at work is filled with mundane tasks and even more report writing. After finishing another ten-page long report detailing the actions of the section B officers at the crime scene, Lu Han is mentally and physically exhausted. Zitao had given up on writing anything two days ago. He had claimed his eyes couldn’t stare at the bright computer screen anymore. Jongdae had been kind enough to promise to finish Zitao’s reports as well, earning a tight hug from the younger man. Lu Han had glanced at Kris hopefully, but the man was cursing at his computer and the rookie constable didn’t have a death wish.

 

Lu Han is secretly hoping for Xiumin to send another calling card soon, if only to give them something different to do for a while. Even Yixing is in low spirits despite getting premium coffee every morning. Kris had forbidden him from entering his lab before the man had finished his paperwork. Lu Han feels sorry for the depressed man, whose whining fills the room from time to time. Even Jongdae’s back massages or extra cups of coffee don’t help. Yixing keeps staring at his screen with a dead look in his eyes.

 

If this keeps going on, Lu Han is sure he’ll have the same kind of empty stare by the end of the week.

 

…

 

Three days later, Xiumin thankfully decides his life is getting boring too and leaves the police another calling card. Lu Han almost cries when he comes back to work after getting coffee and notices Kris reading a small, familiar kind of card. Then he runs to the inspector and steals the card for himself, ignoring Kris’s startled yells of how Lu Han should act properly around his superior. Right now, all Lu Han cares about is getting to do something other than paperwork for a while (even if there’s more of that coming later).

 

He turns to Kris, who’s talking with Jongdae about the contents of the card. “Let’s catch him this time, boss!”

 

Kris rolls his eyes. “That’s what we’re trying to do every time he appears.”

 

“I’m afraid that’s going to be a little more difficult this time”, Jongdae interrupts them. “Xiumin is after the Fallen Snow, a famous pearl necklace from the Yuan dynasty. It’s worth millions these days.”

 

“What’s so difficult about that? Sounds like another piece of jewelry to me?” Lu Han asks, not familiar with the necklace.

 

“It’s not about the item itself, it’s about where it is. Or where it’s going to be when Xiumin wants to steal it”, Jongdae explains. “Lady Zhao turns 50 years old in two days, and if you’ve followed the news at all, you should know that she’s planning to hold a huge celebration. She’s already rented the biggest luxury cruiser available, Princess Shanghai, for the party. You can literally fit thousands of people on that ship.”

 

Lu Han is starting to see the problem.

 

“We haven’t been able to catch Xiumin in museums or mansions, so how are we supposed to do it on a huge cruiser.” Jongdae rubs his forehead, confirming what Lu Han had been fearing. Still… One mustn’t give up so easily.

 

“The ship might be huge, but it’s also a closed space. Unless Xiumin is planning to escape to the sea, he’s trapped in the ship, just waiting for us to catch him.” Lu Han attempts to brighten their situation. “Or maybe we can ask Lady Zhao not to wear the necklace?”

 

Zitao, who’s been listening to their conversation at his desk, laughs at Lu Han’s idea. “Gege, everyone’s been talking about this party for weeks. As well as about Lady Zhao’s dress, and as a fashion expert, I can tell you that she’d rather kill herself than compromise her outfit by not wearing that accessory. Besides, she paid a huge sum of money to Mr. Kim when she bought that legendary necklace from him for the sole purpose of wearing it at her party.”

 

Of course, Zitao’s knowledge surpasses even Jongdae’s when it’s about fashion. At this point, Lu Han shouldn’t even be surprised. He doesn’t really care whether this Lady Zhao compromises her outfit or not, but there’s something else that catches Lu Han’s attention. “The targeted item belonged to Mr. Kim previously?” It’s not really a surprise who the necklace’s previous owner was, but it makes Lu Han wonder just what Xiumin’s deal with Mr. Kim is.

 

“I’ve been looking into that”, Kris interrupts Lu Han’s thoughts. “Been digging here and there to see how many enemies Mr. Kim has, and while he does have some, I’ve yet to find any connection between them and Xiumin.”

 

“If you ever need someone to go undercover in their rich-ass circles, I volunteer!” Lu Han jumps at the chance of getting to do something other than paperwork. Beside him, Zitao laughs again. “I hope you aren’t trying to play the part of a rich boy. Not with your fashion sense, ge.”

 

Lu Han opens his mouth, offended, but Kris raises his hand before the rookie constable has the chance to defend his fashion choices. “That can wait. Right now, we have less than two days to figure out how to catch Xiumin in that huge ship and how to secure the Fallen Snow without disturbing Lady Zhao’s party too much.”

 

It’s cases like these that make Lu Han glad he’s not the boss of this operation. That’s a lot of things to figure out, even for their skilled inspector.

 

…

 

Lu Han doesn’t often feel envy towards rich people, but damn, the ship is huge. And to think this was rented just for some birthday party. The cost must’ve been more than Lu Han could make in his lifetime, even if he lived for 500 years. He tries to mask his emotions so it won’t be glaringly obvious that Lu Han’s never held big bills in his life. He’s currently going undercover, trying to blend in the crowd like most of the other officers. Lu Han’s wearing an expensive-looking (but still rented) tuxedo, and his brown hair is skillfully swept off his forehead. A ship full of policemen would surely make the atmosphere tense, so Kris had decided most of the officers had to pretend to be invited guests. While pretending to enjoy the party, the officers can check out the guests and the ship in peace.

 

Zitao had planned Lu Han’s entire outfit, and the constable had thanked the younger man through gritted teeth. Apparently, the younger officer had decided Lu Han’s fashion sense was bad enough and he shouldn’t be allowed to choose his tuxedo on his own. Zitao is currently in his element, charming older ladies with his cutesy act and complimenting their dresses. Still, Lu Han doesn’t miss the way Zitao’s eyes dart to other guests from time to time. They are here for work, after all.

 

Lady Zhao isn’t stressing about the situation either. In fact, she’s skillfully ignoring the police officers in the big ballroom. Zitao had been right. The woman won’t give up on her necklace, because without it her outfit just wouldn’t look right (Zitao’s observation, not Lu Han’s).

 

Lu Han has already been running around the ship for hours. He’s been investigating all the toilets, air vents and basically everything that looked like it could hide the small thief. He’s been monitoring the guests, trying to find a pair of familiar-looking blue eyes. No luck so far, but there’s no doubt Xiumin is already on the ship. The thief always finds a way in, no matter how carefully the police checks the identity of every guest and sailor entering the ship.

 

After searching what felt like an entire ship, Lu Han has returned to the ballroom. He guesses their best chance is to catch Xiumin when he’s about to steal the necklace. There are men guarding the lifeboats, so the thief won’t be escaping in one of those. As long as the ship is sailing on the ocean, the police have hours to catch the criminal — unless Xiumin decides to swim to the shore (which is kilometers away), but Lu Han doubts that. Cats hate getting wet, after all.

 

As the evening goes on, more and more police officers fill the ballroom. The real guests are in the middle of emotional speeches describing Lady Zhao’s life. There are no air vents big enough for a person to crawl in them leading to this room, and the closed doors have officers guarding them outside. Xiumin must already be among the guests if he’s going to strike soon.

 

Lu Han watches the attendees like a hawk. He spots a familiar full butt belonging to a man standing next to a very tall guest. Those must be officers Do and Park. Despite recognizing the men, Lu Han makes no attempt of greeting them. The duo is wearing tuxedos as well, and it’s clear they’re here for the undercover mission.

 

This time around, Xiumin didn’t give them the exact time of his upcoming crime. The calling card had only mentioned something about him “feasting with the others”. According to Jongdae, that could mean the moment the speeches are done and the dinner is served.

 

Which is now.

 

Lu Han sharpens his posture as the last man puts down the mic and gestures towards the multiple tables filled with expensive-looking food. There are seven roasted ducks, lobsters, sushi, different kinds of meat and vegetables and a whole chocolate fountain with foreign fruits beside it. The sight makes Lu Han’s stomach rumble. He’d only had very instant noodles (instant to the point that they were only half-ready by the time Lu Han chomped them down) before unit M had headed for the boat.

 

Ignoring the saliva gathering in his mouth, Lu Han pushes his way closer to Lady Zhao. She’s talking to a couple of young women, and the Fallen Snow is shining on her neck. Lu Han keeps a close eye on the necklace and the people surrounding it. Zitao has also positioned himself close to Lady Zhao. He’s the best in unit M when it comes to hand-to-hand combat and is probably looking for a chance to test his skills on Xiumin the moment the thief touches the necklace.

 

Suddenly, there’s a noise that carries over the chatter.

 

“Meow~”

 

It doesn’t come from near Lady Zhao but from the opposite side of the room, where the food is located. Lu Han whips his head towards the noise, trying to pinpoint its source. When there’s another meow half a second later, he notices the voice is coming from a cat statue holding sushi platters. Lu Han quickly realizes this is exactly the type of trap Xiumin likes to use to avert people’s attention from his actual doings. Before Lu Han has time to turn his attention back to the necklace, a scream fills the air.

 

“Kyaah! It’s gone!”

 

It’s one of the women Lady Zhao was talking to. She looks pale and points to Lady Zhao’s bare neck with her finger. The Fallen Snow is nowhere to be seen. Realizing the precious necklace is missing, Lady Zhao screams too, touching her bare neck with her slender hands as to make sure the Fallen Snow is really gone. After confirming the loss of her precious jewelry, she faints. Luckily, Zitao has quick reflexes and manages to catch the unconscious woman before she hits the floor.

 

“Don’t let anyone out!” Lu Han hears Kris yelling. The guards keep the doors firmly closed as the officers in the room search the guests. Lu Han decides to get witness statements from the two women closest to him. He recognizes them as the ones who had been talking to Lady Zhao before the incident, and for a moment Lu Han considers interrogating them instead. He quickly abandons the idea as he sees them shaking in their short dresses, long legs visible and figures curvy. There’s no way either one of them is Xiumin. Both women look shocked to have been so close to the thief. The one with long dyed blonde hair is a sobbing mess, even though Lu Han tries to ease her mind by explaining that Xiumin isn’t known to be violent and she was never in any real danger. The other woman is shaking too, but at least she manages to get words out of her mouth without crying, so Lu Han starts with her.

 

“My name is Lu Han. I’m with the police. Please tell me everything that you saw”, he says, offering the brunette a cup of hot tea to relax her nerves. The woman is still shaking but nods anyway.

 

“I d-didn’t really see that much. Right after the cat statue made that noise, I suddenly noticed the necklace was gone and then… then I s-screamed”, she manages to say while taking sips of her tea. “B-But I didn’t see anyone, though. There was just Lady Zhao, Seoyeon and me near the necklace.”

 

“Sohee is right. I d-didn’t see anyone else either”, the sobbing woman interrupts them. “Well, I was distracted by the noise, so I w-wasn’t really paying attention, but…” she finishes before bursting into tears again. Sohee puts her protecting arm around her friend. “Let’s go find your husband, okay?”

 

Then she looks back to Lu Han. “Unless the constable has something more to ask us?”

 

Lu Han doesn’t really know what he could ask when it’s clear neither of the women saw or heard anything out of the ordinary. He nods at the women, signaling that they’re free to go. He hopes Kris has better luck with Lady Zhao once she comes around.

 

Half an hour later, it’s pretty clear that none of the guests nor Lady Zhao have seen the moment of crime. Everyone had been too distracted by the cat statue’s meowing. Yixing had found a small speaker attached to its left ear, but no one had seen anyone put it there. The guests are now demanding for the police to let them either continue eating or get out of the ballroom, as many are shaken by the incident and wish to return to their cabinets. Kris can’t really hold the angry crowd, and with the corners of his mouth twitching, he allows the doors to be opened. They still have time to catch Xiumin, though, as this cruise is going to last two more days before the ship returns to the port.

 

Unable to ignore his stomach any longer, Lu Han hastily eats a couple of pastries from the table before moving on to the next room. Even if it takes him the whole night, he’s going to check the entire ship again. Xiumin is hiding somewhere, and it’s Lu Han’s duty as a constable to catch him.

 

… Wait.

 

Just now... There was something important in what Lu Han thought just now. He doesn’t quite know what it is, but he can’t ignore the gut feeling. What was he just thinking about? Catching Xiumin? That sounds normal. His duty as a constable? That’s normal too. It _is_ his duty to catch criminals.

 

Wait…

 

… Constable.

 

That’s it!

 

Lu Han finally realizes what was bothering him and feels his heartrate speed in excitement. Wasting no time, he runs back to the ballroom and to Jongdae, who’s currently holding the guest list in his hands. Lu Han snatches it from his coworker’s hands and searches for a certain name. Once he’s located it, Lu Han throws the list back to Jongdae, ignores his yelp and runs off to the upper floor.

 

He should have noticed it right away.

 

No, he should’ve noticed it even sooner — the moment he heard the scream. He thought he’d been quick to realize the sound was just for distraction, but somehow, that woman had been even faster. While everyone was still looking at the source of the noise, the woman had looked at the necklace instead and discovered it’d been stolen. Now, why would she have done that?

 

And not just that. She’d called Lu Han a constable while Lu Han had never revealed his precise rank. He wasn’t even wearing a uniform with his badge; he only had a tuxedo on. There should’ve been no way for Ahn Sohee to know Lu Han was a constable.

 

Unless she was Xiumin in disguise.

 

Lu Han can only hope he’s not too late with his pursuit. He didn’t want to inform Kris or any of the other officers in case his hunch is wrong. That could’ve caused unnecessary embarrassment for Ahn Sohee. According to the guest list, the young woman is staying on deck 3, in cabin 387, and that’s where Lu Han is racing to.

 

When he arrives at the correct door, the constable doesn’t stop to catch his breath but immediately knocks on the door. There’s no reply.

 

“Ms. Ahn? Are you there? It’s constable Lu Han from earlier. Mind if I ask you something quickly?”

 

The cabin stays silent, and for a moment Lu Han thinks Ahn Sohee has gone somewhere else. Then he notices the door isn’t fully closed. Taking his chances and hoping his hunch is right (otherwise he’ll probably be called pervert and demoted back to being just a coffee boy), Lu Han slowly opens the door and enters the dark room.

 

“Ms. Ahn? Are you here?” He calls again, softer this time. He takes a few steps forward, trying to locate Ms. Ahn. The cabin is dark, but in the small light shining from the hallway, Lu Han can see there’s no one in the room. He’s about to leave when something suddenly pokes against his back. Lu Han hears a click when the door closes, leaving the room in complete darkness.

 

“Cutie Constable’s looking for me?” Comes a seductive voice behind him — a voice Lu Han knows very well. It seems that he was right. Lu Han wants to turn around and arrest Xiumin this very second, but the something pressing against his back stops him in his tracks. As if sensing what’s on the constable’s mind, Xiumin presses what feels like a gun harder against Lu Han’s back. The constable knows what the thief wants. Slowly, he raises his hands.

 

“Mmm, so obedient. I like it”, Xiumin purrs behind him, making Lu Han grit his teeth.

 

“You were disguised as Ahn Sohee, weren’t you?” Lu Han wants to confirm his suspicions. Xiumin lets out a small laugh. “How did you find out it was me?”

 

“You called me constable when I hadn’t told you my rank”, Lu Han explains, trying to get used to the darkness so he can start looking for ways to turn the situation around like last time.

 

“I was hoping you’d catch that, Cutie Constable”, Xiumin says, one of his fingers caressing Lu Han’s back.

 

“Stop calling me that!” Lu Han snaps, balling his fists in anger. Why is it always like this? He’s literally so close to catching Xiumin, yet he’s totally helpless at the moment.

 

“Fine”, Xiumin mutters. Then there’s a hot breath against Lu Han’s neck that makes him shiver. “I was hoping you’d catch that, _Lu Han._ ” Xiumin’s face brushes lightly against Lu Han’s and the constable realizes the thief isn’t wearing a mask right now. If only Lu Han was able to turn around… Even in this dim lighting, he’d be able to make out Xiumin’s face.

 

But wait, hasn’t he already seen it before? Unless Xiumin was using some really high-tech mask, that should’ve been his own face behind the luxurious make-up “Ahn Sohee” was wearing. Lu Han tries to remember how the woman had looked. She — or Xiumin — had been wearing heavy make-up around his eyes and some serious fake lashes. His lips had been full and red and any imperfection on his face covered with heavy foundation. No matter how much Lu Han tries to imagine it, he just can’t believe that was a face belonging to a male. And not just the face, the body too. Ahn Sohee had long, slender legs and a curvy figure.

 

For a moment Lu Han considers that Xiumin might be a woman after all, disguising herself as a man to fool the police. Then he remembers how much strength the thief has in his arms, making the constable utterly confused. He supposes he can figure out these things after he’s caught Xiumin.

 

“What do you mean, you were hoping…?” Lu Han finally asks when Xiumin’s breath has moved away again.

 

“I missed my favorite constable”, Xiumin murmurs, taking a patch of Lu Han’s brown hair between his fingers and twirling it. Lu Han unsuccessfully tries to pull his head away from the touch. “Wanted to see you before I make my exit. You looked pretty hot in that tuxedo and hair all styled. Made me wanna do bad things to you…”

 

“Well, you’ve seen me now”, Lu Han growls, ignoring Xiumin’s last sentence. “Now hand back the Fallen Snow and let me arrest you.”

 

He wasn’t expecting Xiumin to agree, but the thief dares to let out a boisterous laugh. Lu Han feels the gun against his back going up and down as the thief laughs at his suggestion. “That wouldn’t be very fair, would it now? Me giving back what I just brilliantly stole for free? Nuhuh, nope. I want something in return.”

 

“I can give you a nice cell at the local jail in return”, Lu Han spits out, sneakily trying to turn around. Even in the darkness, Xiumin notices his attempt and pushes the gun against Lu Han’s back more firmly, stopping the constable. There’s a humming sound coming from behind Lu Han, as if Xiumin is thinking hard about the option Lu Han gave him. It pisses the constable off. The way the thief is acting, all obnoxious, mocking everything he says.

 

“Thank you, but no thank you. How about you give me…”

 

“… Give you what? Pink handcuffs?” Lu Han’s annoyed with the way Xiumin keeps playing with him.

 

“Ooh, kinky”, Xiumin giggles, making Lu Han regret opening his mouth. “But I was talking about a kiss. If you give me a proper kiss, I’ll hand the Fallen Snow back to you”, Xiumin purrs.

 

“…What?” Lu Han can’t believe his ears. He must have heard wrong.

 

“I said give me a kiss and you’ll get the Fallen Snow in return”, Xiumin whispers against his ear, making sure Lu Han hears his words loud and clear. The suggestion makes Lu Han’s hair stand on end and his cheeks color with red. He’s thankful the room is still dark, because the last thing he wants is for Xiumin to mock him for blushing. Then he feels angry with himself for even having such a reaction.

 

“W-why would you want to kiss me!?” Lu Han snaps and silently curses the way he stuttered in the beginning. He should be in control here, not the thief. But Xiumin keeps saying these things out of the blue, and while Lu Han already knows about his flirty nature, he’s still not prepared enough for them. It’s been a while since anyone’s flirted with him and it messes up Lu Han’s mind. Maybe he should just scream for help. There have to be more officers in the hallway, looking for Xiumin, so there’s a chance they’ll hear him. And even with the gun pressing against his back… There are no reports of Xiumin ever shooting anyone, and Lu Han is almost ready to take his chances. Before the constable risks his life, Xiumin’s hand is there, caressing his jaw softly.

 

“Told you, you looked good tonight. And while I love to steal things, I don’t steal kisses. So it’s all up to you, Cutie Constable. Don’t you want the necklace back? Here I am, willing to give it to you in exchange for a mere kiss. What do you have to lose, _Lu Han_?” Xiumin hums against Lu Han’s ear, the tips of his fingers reaching for the constable’s lower lip. Lu Han turns his head to the side to escape their touch.

 

He also doesn’t want to admit that Xiumin has a point. What does he have to lose? In the best-case scenario, Lu Han gives the thief a quick peck, gets back the necklace and maybe even manages to arrest Xiumin at the same time. He doesn’t need to share the details of the arrest with anyone, doesn’t need to mention the kiss in his future report.

 

“Okay”, Lu Han finally agrees, sounding a little out of breath, not believing he just said that. “One kiss, and then you’ll give it back.” He thinks he hears a quiet gasp, like Xiumin is surprised that he agreed, but that can’t be right. The thief was the one suggesting the whole exchange in the first place. Then Xiumin chuckles behind him and pulls his hand back from Lu Han’s neck, where it had been resting ever since Lu Han turned his head away.

 

“Lovely”, the constable hears Xiumin saying. “But before that… why don’t you take a few steps forward?”

 

Lu Han does as he’s told, mostly because the gun urges him to. He doesn’t understand what Xiumin is planning. Not until they reach the small window, the only source of the dim light in the room, and Xiumin pulls down the curtain to cover it. Lu Han’s been trying to get his eyes used to the darkness, but that’s all in vain now. The room is pitch black and he has no hope of seeing Xiumin’s face, not even if he’s allowed to turn around. Then he feels Xiumin grabbing his wrist and spinning Lu Han around to face him. The gun is now pointed at his abdomen.

 

“Whenever you’re ready, Cutie Constable”, Xiumin urges him, and Lu Han thinks it’s ridiculous that he’s _this_ close to the thief again but unable to do anything (other than kiss him).

 

“You promise to give it back after this?” Lu Han grunts, trying to voice that he finds great displeasure in doing this. He’s glad nobody is listening to their conversation, because he’s really asking whether a thief can keep his word or not. Kris would be so disappointed in him.

 

Xiumin only giggles. “Of course. I may be a thief, but I’m a man of my word.”

 

Not wanting to prolong the situation any more, Lu Han surges forward. Not quick enough for Xiumin to think he’s going to attack him, but fast enough that his movement isn’t seen as tender. Their heights are quite similar and Xiumin’s face is close enough, so despite the darkness, Lu Han’s lips land perfectly on Xiumin’s. He gives them a quick peck, immediately pulling away after the deed is done, wishing he could wipe his mouth. If anyone _ever_ finds out what he just did, Lu Han is going to move out of China that very second.

 

“Now, give back the necklace”, he rasps, trying not to taste the cherry on his lips. Xiumin must still be wearing lipstick from his Ahn Sohee disguise.

 

“Tsk, tsk, Cutie Constable. I said if you give me a _proper_ kiss. There was nothing proper about that tiny peck. I wouldn’t even give up my shoelace for that sad excuse of a kiss.” Xiumin taps his foot against the floor like he’s lecturing the constable. Lu Han is about to object when Xiumin continues.

 

“Let me show you what a proper kiss is.”

 

That’s all the warning Lu Han gets before he feels himself being roughly pushed against the covered window. He hits his back against the windowsill but doesn’t have time to whimper in pain before Xiumin’s already there. Lu Han can feel the thief’s hot breath against his face for half a second before Xiumin smashes his lips hard against Lu Han’s.

 

The constable lets out a surprised sound that gets muffled against the lips pressing into his. Xiumin’s lips are very soft, probably because they had to pass for a woman’s lips at the party. Even in the darkness, the thief manages to angle his head right and not bump his nose or teeth against Lu Han’s. The constable’s just standing there, not knowing what to do. He’s no longer holding his hands up, instead they are at his side, clutching his dark pants, while Xiumin is still pressing the gun against Lu Han’s body. Lu Han would rather not think about how Xiumin seems like a skilled kisser, but it’s an important detail for the future and he has to acknowledge the fact. Still, the reason why the constable’s heart is beating so fast has more to do with the unexpected situation he’s in than the way Xiumin’s lips slide against his unmoving ones.

 

After a few seconds, Xiumin separates himself from Lu Han and the constable almost sighs in relief, thinking they’re done. But no. “I’m not going to give the necklace back if I’m the one doing all the work. Kiss me back”, comes a command from Xiumin’s mouth and then Lu Han tastes the familiar cherry chapstick once more.

 

This time, Xiumin curls his free hand against Lu Han’s neck and pulls him closer. Lu Han winces a little when the gun’s barrel presses more tightly against his stomach but does what he’s told and presses his lips against Xiumin’s. He tries to detach himself from the situation and only think about getting the stolen item back, making the police achieve something tonight. However, it’s hard to concentrate on anything when Xiumin pulls his short hair and nibbles on Lu Han’s lower lip.

 

“Ah”, Lu Han lets out an embarrassing half moan when he feels teeth biting his lip. The moment he opens his mouth, Xiumin pulls his hair again to tilt Lu Han’s head backwards, and the next thing Lu Han knows is the thief’s tongue in his mouth. That’s a little too much, and Lu Han raises his hands, trying to push the criminal away, but Xiumin doesn’t let him. Even with his small stature, the thief is in control of the situation, pushing his body against Lu Han’s even more. The constable really hopes that whatever’s currently poking at him is really Xiumin’s gun and nothing more.

 

Then, slowly, Lu Han meets Xiumin’s tongue with his own. He’s going to kiss back for good, if only because he doesn’t want to give Xiumin any excuses to redo the kiss after this. Lu Han’s hands, trying to push thief away just a few seconds ago, are now clutching the clothing Xiumin is wearing. Lu Han barely registers it’s still the same flashy dress Ahn Sohee was wearing earlier. He doesn’t even remember to try his luck and attack the thief now that he has his hands on Xiumin. Not when all Lu Han can concentrate on is Xiumin’s warm tongue curling against his own and the sweet aroma of the thief’s perfume surrounding them both, making the constable’s head dizzy.

 

Lu Han faintly hears Xiumin murmur in approval before the thief skilfully swipes his tongue against the roof of the constable’s mouth. Then Xiumin’s thigh brushes against Lu Han’s, and that’s definitely not a gun pressing against his leg (at least he’s now sure Xiumin’s male). The constable tries to squirm away from the touch but accidentally just rubs his leg against Xiumin’s crotch, making the thief moan against his mouth.

 

Lu Han thanks his good luck that Xiumin doesn’t try to grind against him or anything, just keeps kissing him instead. The cabin is quiet save for the wet sounds of their lips moving against each other and Xiumin’s frantic breathing. Lu Han’s already lost his sense of time, and the kiss feels like it’s going on forever. He’s trying to concentrate and find an opportunity to arrest the thief, but his mind is constantly slipping elsewhere. To his horror, Lu Han hears himself moan again when Xiumin sucks on his lower lip particularly hard while the thief’s thumb presses against Lu Han’s left nipple over the fabric of the constable’s dress shirt. For a second the he thinks Xiumin did that accidentally, but then he feels the thief starting to draw tiny circles with his thumb against Lu Han’s nipple and the constable has to swallow down another moan before it gets out. Not wanting to be the only one letting out embarrassing noises, Lu Han sucks Xiumin’s tongue between his teeth, careful not to bite it (he later realizes that he should have bitten it and left evidence). Xiumin moans against Lu Han’s mouth, and for a second the constable feels like he has the upper hand for the first time tonight.

 

The feeling soon goes away when Xiumin doesn’t detach his lips for even a second. Lu Han is starting to find it harder and harder to breathe. It’s like the thief is trying to steal his breath away tonight, along with the Fallen Snow.

 

“Mmph”, Lu Han makes a desperate sound when he’s starting to feel lightheaded thanks to the lack of oxygen in his brain. He grabs Xiumin’s bicep, trying to signal to the thief that he needs to breathe. Xiumin doesn’t let him and pushes Lu Han against the windowsill even more roughly. It’s really starting to painfully dig against the constable’s back, and Lu Han struggles to end the kiss. Being pressed against the windowsill and Xiumin’s body is the only thing keeping Lu Han standing as he barely feels his legs anymore. Finally, Xiumin slips his tongue out from the constable’s wet mouth, leaving a wet trail of saliva on Lu Han’s jaw. Moving his hand from Lu Han’s chest to squeeze his wet jaw instead, Xiumin presses one more hard kiss against Lu Han’s red and abused lips before letting go.

 

The moment Lu Han is free, his wobbly legs give out underneath him. The constable slides down against the wall, breathless and his mind covered in a haze. He’s never been kissed like that. Lu Han’s so out of it that he doesn’t even hear Xiumin quietly backing towards the door. Only when something hard lands on his lap does Lu Han remember where he is. But it’s already too late at that point. Xiumin opens the door, just enough for Lu Han to see his silhouette against it. He’s still wearing the dress and the long-haired brown wig.

 

“Thanks for the meal. It was better than anything they served at the party.” Xiumin smacks his lips. “Left you the thing you wanted. See you around, Cutie Constable.” Then he spins around, fully opens the door and whizzes through it before Lu Han has a chance to see his face or stop him. Lu Han quickly stands up on his weak legs, tells them to stop trembling and stumbles towards the door. He yanks it open and peeks his head through the doorway, frantically looking left and right.

 

There’s no one in the hallway.

 

Cursing at his inability to catch Xiumin again, Lu Han pulls his head back to the room and snaps the light on. The Fallen Snow rests on the floor near the window like Xiumin had promised. There’s also something else on the floor. It’s a glass gun filled with alcohol. Lu Han recognizes it from the party and groans when he realizes Xiumin had never threatened him with a real gun. He quickly retreats both items and takes a look around the room to see if there’s something else that could be used as evidence. The room looks untouchable and Lu Han’s eyes catch nothing important. He’ll let Yixing conduct a more thorough search later, but right now, Lu Han just wants to get the necklace back to Kris and maybe score some good points for the police and himself (and forget that kiss ever happened).

 

…

 

He doesn’t get as many good points as he had hoped. Mostly because Lu Han had forgotten to wipe off the lipstick Xiumin was using from his lips, making everyone think he’d been fooling around with one of the lady guests instead of doing his job. He silences most of the sneers by pulling out the Fallen Snow from his pocket and earning himself another round of kisses, this time coming from Lady Zhao.

 

It still doesn’t change the fact that once they get back from the cruise, Lu Han finds himself walking towards the coffee shop with a list in his hand once more. (How Xiumin had managed to escape the ship despite the heavy security checks at the port remains a mystery to them).

 

So much for the respect Lu Han had hoped to achieve after getting the stolen item back for the second time.

 

Maybe next time, then.

 


	3. The Case Of The Blue Maiden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so late! But here it is finally... And as usual my beta, P, is awesome!

There’s something dangerous about those blue eyes, Lu Han thinks. Not dangerous in a life-threatening way. They make Lu Han shiver, but it’s not because he’s afraid something bad is about to happen. He shivers because he’s looking forward to whatever is going to happen. The dangerous glint in those piercing eyes watching the constable makes him hold his breath. It’s almost as if Xiumin will disappear if Lu Han dares as much as breathe or make a small sound. So he stays still and hopes the thief doesn’t hear his heart causing a ruckus in his chest.

 

Xiumin doesn’t. Or at least Lu Han’s frantic heartbeat isn’t enough to chase him away. Lu Han watches the thief take a step forward, then another, before stopping in front of the constable. There’s no use trying to concentrate on his surroundings; they don’t matter. Lu Han doesn’t even know if there’s anything he’d call surroundings. There’s just white all around them, like they’re standing in the middle of a fog . But the mist, or whatever it is, doesn’t matter. It’s Xiumin that matters. The thief raises his hand to caress Lu Han’s cheek, and the constable doesn’t even try to turn his head away this time. He feels Xiumin’s smooth hand slide from his cheek to cup his jaw. Lu Han thinks he’s taller than the thief, but somehow, he finds himself looking upward into those blue eyes after Xiumin tilts his head.

 

Those dangerous blue eyes.

 

Lu Han watches Xiumin’s gaze drop somewhere lower, and the constable finds himself doing the same as the connection between their eyes breaks. The thief’s wearing his familiar black mask with three holes. Two for the eyes and one for the mouth. Lu Han gulps as his own gaze settles on  the red lips. There’s lipstick on them, and the color looks exactly like the one  “Ahn Sohee” was wearing at  Lady Zhao’s party.

 

Are they still at that party? Lu Han doesn’t know. And frankly, he doesn’t care. Not when Xiumin seems to know where the constable’s gaze is and licks his lips, making sure Lu Han catches sight of his pink tongue rolling effortlessly over his red lips. The thief does nothing else, though. It seems like he’s waiting. Finally, Lu Han realizes Xiumin’s  waiting for him.

 

All of a sudden, there’s no hand holding Lu Han’s jaw anymore. In fact, both of Xiumin’s hands are in front of him. In a new shining pair of handcuffs, that look a lot like those Kris had given to Lu Han. The mist is gone too, or at least some of it. There’s a grey stone wall behind Xiumin. Lu Han slowly realizes they’re  probably in a cell.

 

Xiumin has been caught. Or so Lu Han thinks. The thief doesn’t seem to understand the situation he’s in, and Lu Han sees the familiar overconfident smirk taking over those red lips.

 

He hates it.

 

Xiumin thinks he’s still in charge, like all those times he’s ridiculed Lu Han and the other police officers. But he’s not. It’s Lu Han who makes the rules now.

 

And his first rule: no smirking.

 

Lu Han pushes the thief  so that his back hits the wall. Suddenly it’s the constable who’s taller again as he closes in on Xiumin, grabs his mask by the neck and yanks his head up. Lu Han smashes his lips against the thief’s, wanting to get rid of that smirk. Xiumin seems to have been  waiting for it, as Lu Han feels the other’s lips immediately press against his. Xiumin may have made a fool out of him  on  that ship, but now it’s Lu Han’s turn to show him who’s the boss and which side of the law is superior.

 

He bites Xiumin’s full lower lip hard enough to break the skin and taste  iron on his tongue. Xiumin makes a noise of complaint against the constable’s lips, but Lu Han isn’t even remotely sorry. He licks the blood away, tickling Xiumin’s lips with his tongue, demanding  them to open. The thief obeys almost too eagerly, and Lu Han soon feels the familiar warmth around his tongue. Xiumin’s hands curl up against Lu Han’s neck, pulling the other man closer. Lu Han doesn’t remember the man’s supposed to be handcuffed. He doesn’t stop to wonder why they’re no longer in a cell but in a luxurious cabin instead. Xiumin’s tongue brushes against his and Lu Han tilts his head a little, as if to allow Xiumin deeper access. The thief gladly takes his offer, pressing himself so close that Lu Han thinks their faces will melt together.

 

This time, Lu Han is able to breathe. He doesn’t know how, but he’s getting air even though his nose and mouth are smashed against Xiumin’s. His hands are curled up against the thief’s biceps (feeling more impressive than Lu Han’s, much to his dislike), and his thumb accidentally brushes against Xiumin’s bare nipple (when did the thief’s shirt disappear, anyway?). It makes the masked man moan against Lu Han’s mouth, and the noise travels south in Lu Han’s body. He touches the nipple again, this time on purpose. The constable can feel the perkiness of it under his thumb as he twists it left and right, hearing Xiumin make tiny noises according to the movement. When Lu Han allows his nail to scratch against the hardened nipple, Xiumin’s breath hitches. He detaches himself from the constable with a wet noise, leaving a trail of saliva between them.

 

“Cutie Constable”, Xiumin whispers, and Lu Han realizes it’s the first time the thief’s spoken. “You’re playing a dangerous game.”

 

Before Lu Han has a  chance to respond, Xiumin pushes himself further away and sinks to his knees.

 

“I’m not sure if you can handle the consequences”, the thief murmurs, his face now dangerously close to Lu Han’s crotch. “But I suppose you can always try.” Then Xiumin licks his lips, ready to –

 

Lu Han never finds out what he was ready to do when the sound of sirens fills the air. Police cars. A lot of them. The sound gets louder and louder with every passing second, ringing in Lu Han’s head. The constable swats his hand — as if trying to kill a mosquito — to make the source of the noise to go away, and ends up swiping his alarm clock to the floor, waking himself up in the process.

 

“God damn!” Lu Han yells when he surges off his bed, diving after his still ringing alarm clock. He slams the button with more force than necessary and finally manages to silence the machine. Lu Han sees the familiar digits of 06:30 on the clock, making  him realise it’s another Monday morning  and he has a full workday ahead of him.

 

“God damn”, he curses again, picking up the clock and placing it on the table. When most of the morning haziness dissolves from his mind, Lu Han feels something uncomfortable in his pants and looks down.

 

There’s definitely something there.

 

Looking down also triggers a memory of the dream he just had. Of Xiumin. Kneeling down.

 

“God _fucking_ dammit!” Lu Han smacks his head. “Not again!”

 

He’s been having these kinds of dreams a lot lately. Stupid dreams. Not exactly explicit enough to be called wet dreams, but stupid kissing dreams about one stupid thief. Even thinking about them makes Lu Han mortified.

 

He ignores the ‘happening’ in his pajama pants and heads for the shower. This is almost becoming a routine  for him. Taking a cold shower in the morning before work and hoping the water will wash away the last remnants of the undesired dream. He sure as hell won’t start jerking off every other morning, because: a) he’s afraid Zitao’s going to smell the cum on his hands, no matter how much soap Lu Han uses. That man has a scarily precise nose when it comes to perfumes and other smells, and Lu Han doesn’t want to take his chances. And b) he sure as hell isn’t going to wank to a memory of a criminal abusing his lips! (Even if in half of the dreams Lu Han is the one doing the abusing).

 

So, Lu Han skillfully ignores the half-boner between his legs, turns on the shower and tries not to flinch too much when the ice-cold water hits his body. At least this is an effective way to wake up.

 

Still, no matter how many cold showers he takes, the dreams won’t stop. Perhaps the reason, Lu Han thinks when he’s munching on cereal and looking out of the kitchen window, seeing a couple kiss goodbye before they head their respective ways, is that he hasn’t been kissing anyone in a while. And because his thoughts have been nothing but Xiumin lately. (Not like that, Lu Han corrects anyone that might be listening to his thoughts. He means purely professionally.) And maybe because whether Lu Han admits it to himself or not, Xiumin is quite a skillful kisser.

 

His mind is just mixing all these things together into one messy soup that Lu Han is forced to eat almost every night, whether he wants to or not. He’ll just have to stop thinking about Xiumin or at least starting to kiss someone to stop his ridiculous thoughts and dreams about the thief.

 

The problem is, neither of the options seems likely to happen anytime soon.

 

At least not until Lu Han spots his cat lurking under the table, waiting for Lu Han to accidentally drop a piece of his breakfast. It gives him an idea.

 

“Come here, you big baby. Time to actually earn your food for once.” Lu Han fakes a smile and crouches to meet his cat’s eyes. “How about a big kiss, before I head to work?”

 

The cat watches his owner for two seconds before deciding that whatever mumble-jumble the other said, it wasn’t anything good. It takes off with high speed, but for once, Lu Han is quicker. Before his cat manages to dive to the safety that is the living room, Lu Han scoops it into his arms, and the last thing his cat sees is  Lu Han’s puckered lips closing in.

 

…

 

“What happened to you, ge?!” A horrified expression takes over Jongdae’s face when he comes to work and sees Lu Han’s bloody face. “Did you have a fight with a very long-nailed woman or something? Your face is full of scratches!”

 

Lu Han, feeling mortified, only grunts something incomprehensible before continuing to type his report.

 

“Gege tried to kiss his cat. Don’t ask why”, Zitao answers with a cheery voice. He’s finally stopped laughing about the whole situation, but his breath is still a bit shaky. Lu Han taps his fingers against the keyboard and tries to shut his ears from the conversation. He should have said he tripped and fell on a cactus instead. He still hears the loud laugh Jongdae lets out, but luckily for Lu Han, the younger man doesn’t stick around for too long, heading for Yixing’s lab instead. Kris didn’t say anything about the whole kissing-your-cat fiasco, but Lu Han’s pretty sure he heard laughter  coming from the toilets after their leader excused himself from their room.

 

It’s safe to say Lu Han’s never kissing his cat again. Or any other cats.

 

…

 

When Lu Han comes to work two days later and opens the door to their “dungeon”, he finds some of the tables pushed together and a lot of papers spread on them. Kris is looking at them with a thoughtful expression on his face.

 

“What’s this”, Lu Han questions as he hangs his coat.

 

“We need to figure out  the connection between Mr. Kim and Xiumin. There has to be one”, Kris explains.

 

“Did that asshole come to yell at you again?” Lu Han asks while looking at the papers. There are several profiles of  people who have worked with Kim Industries in the past or are currently working with them. People in the same line of business, possible rivals, are on the right side of the table, and known criminals currently on the loose on the left. Those they can probably rule out right away. Lu Han’s looked into the profiles of hard-boiled criminals capable of pulling jewel heists, but none of them feel like they could be Xiumin. They’re  either too huge or too old-looking. Not slender enough. Or their style relies more on violence than clever tricks. Still, he understands why Kris has gathered their papers on the table as well. They can’t ignore anything just because it ‘feels’ wrong.

 

“No”, Kris grunts and busies himself with the profiles of the household staff currently working for Mr. Kim. Lu Han can see the inspector’s ears redden, but doesn’t press the topic .

 

“Honestly”, Kris sighs after a while, when the rest of unit M is gathered around him. “This whole case would be easier if Xiumin kept the goods he’s stolen. I don’t have a clue why he gives them back afterwards.”

 

“There doesn’t seem to be anything added to them either, like listening devices or microbombs .” Yixing scratches his head. “He doesn’t leave fingerprints or DNA on them either. And they’re definitely the same items since I’ve found the fingerprints of their owners on them.”

 

“Maybe he’s just playing with us? Stealing for fun?” Zitao suggests.

 

“Could be.” Jongdae agrees. “But why only target Mr. Kim? There are a lot of unique items to steal that don’t belong to him.”

 

“That’s what we’re here to find out”, Kris says. “Stealing for fun or not. This guy must want harm done to either Mr. Kim personally or to the Kim Industries.”

 

“But.” Lu Han looks at the paper in his hand. There’s the  face of the CEO of a huge electronics company located in Shanghai. “Is stealing some paintings and jewelry really going to harm Mr. Kim’s company, especially when they get returned? It would make more sense if Xiumin stole Mr. Kim’s money from the bank or hacked his companies or something. But how exactly is stealing something like The Little Red Tear going to do anything harmful for Mr. Kim?”

 

Nobody really has an answer to that. All five of them keep looking at the papers, as if the answers would just randomly pop out.

 

They don’t.

 

Three hours later, Lu Han gives up and slumps against his chair. “Aaargh, this is useless!” They aren’t any closer to finding answers, and it’s starting to feel a lot like they’ll only solve the case once they catch Xiumin. Even Jongdae, who usually has an answer to almost anything, stares at the papers with an empty look in his eyes. They’ve gone through dozens  of CEOs, criminals, politicians and other influential people who could have a beef with Mr. Kim, but nothing rings a bell. Kris has used his connections to ask around for criminals but either they don’t fit Xiumin’s profile or they have alibis for the heists.

 

“He doesn’t even have any bitter ex-wives around that could possibly want to hire a thief to steal back the jewelry they once wore or anything”, Zitao sighs and throws the papers on the table with a dramatic gesture. “His first wife died years ago, and his second marriage seems happy enough. There are no reports of Mr. Kim or his wife having mistresses or lovers, so I don’t think there’s any jealousy behind all this.”

 

All the different ideas they come up with are met with nothing. The stolen items don’t seem to be warnings from the mafia, nor does it seem likely Mr. Kim is doing this for the insurance money because the items are being returned to him.

 

Yixing has  given up a long time ago and Kris has permitted him  to do whatever the man does in his laboratory, after everyone had denied his offer to help them take some tension off with his new muscle-relaxing massage gloves. Lu Han, Jongdae, Kris and Zitao had kept looking for papers, but they’ve  finally come to their wits’ end.

 

“I don’t know anything anymore”, Jongdae groans and stands up, stretching his arms and legs. “No, wait, I do know something. I’m hungry as hell and my body demands coffee. Expensive coffee.” Jongdae’s eyes turn to Lu Han. However, Kris has other ideas.

 

“Then how about you go get it?”

 

Lu Han can’t believe his ears. Neither can Jongdae, as he keeps blinking stupidly at their leader. “Me…? But…”

 

“I think Lu Han’s shown his worth already, don’t you think? It would be shameful to keep making him get us coffee”, Kris explains with a smirk. Lu Han feels a smile creeping on his face. He can finally scratch off  ‘get respect’ from his bucket list!

 

Jongdae tries to reason with Kris with no luck, and by the time Lu Han is done mentally congratulating himself, the brain of the team is already pulling on a jacket. Half of him wants to enjoy someone else finally getting the coffee, but half of him wants to go see a familiar face again. “Wait, Jongdae”, Lu Han hurries to say before his co-worker is out of the door.

 

“What? You volunteer after all?” Jongdae pouts, not wanting to step outside the station as the weather is cold and wet today.

 

“Actually, yes”, Lu Han hears himself saying. “I… I need to stretch my legs for a bit, so I don’t mind going.” He feels his cheeks getting slightly warmer and hopes it’s not visible to Jongdae or Kris. It’s not like he really wants to go stretch his legs in the rain, but the real reason is too embarrassing to tell his co-workers.

 

After Xiumin cases, their workdays are always filled with report writing and other mundane tasks. Lu Han hasn’t had the chance to see Minseok lately. It’s not like they’re  great friends or anything, nor does Lu Han miss the barista that much, but he likes having someone else besides co-workers to talk to. Plus he kinda wants to see the barista’s gummy smile again — it has some sort of healing effect on Lu Han’s brain. Perhaps he’ll even crack the case once he’s seen it again.

 

“Well, be my guest.” Jongdae happily takes off his jacket, gives Kris an eyeful of a cheeky tongue and goes back to look at the papers.

 

“I’m still happy about all the respect, boss!” Lu Han yells before shutting the door to Unit M’s room and running to the coffee shop, not remembering to take his umbrella with him.

 

By the time he gets there, he feels like a drenched cat. The downpour was worse than he had thought, and now Lu Han’s hair is glued to his head and his clothes weigh at least two tons. He no longer wonders why his cat hates taking a bath.

 

“ACHOO!” He lets out a huge sneeze when opening the door to their closest coffee shop. A woman by the door gives him a dirty look and moves a little further away from Lu Han. The constable resists sneezing a  second time and pointing his head towards the woman.

 

“What can I ge--- _Luhan_?” Minseok looks shocked when he’s faced with a constable dripping water  at the counter. Lu Han gives him a cheeky smile and hopes he doesn’t look too stupid with his wet hair and drenched clothes.

 

“You can get me something warm”, he grins but then fails to keep his cool when he sneezes again. Thankfully, he manages to cover it with his sleeve so his snot isn’t all over the counter.

 

“I’ll get you something better, follow me.” Minseok drops the rag he was cleaning the counter with and motions for Lu Han to walk to the backroom with him.

 

“Baekhyun, go to the counter for a sec”, he tells his droopy-eyed coworker, who was apparently  in the middle of his lunch break. Baekhyun leaves his half-eaten sandwich on the bench and grumpily obeys.

 

“Why would you go out without an umbrella? It’s raining cats and dogs out there.” Minseok shakes his head and whips out a towel from somewhere. He pushes Lu Han’s  shoulders so the constable sits on the bench.

 

“I forgot about it, and it would’ve been too uncool to turn back and go get it ”, Lu Han tells the barista the truth.

 

“Catching a cold is even more uncool, constable.” Minseok shakes his head and wraps the soft towel around Lu Han’s head, starting to dry his hair with it. “Who’s gonna make sure people follow the law if you’re home down with a fever? There are bad people to be punished…”

 

“True. I wasn’t thinking.” Lu Han winces  when Minseok rubs a little too hard. He probably should have refused this kind of treatment and assured the barista that he was okay. But the towel is soft and warm against his wet scalp and it honestly feels nice. Minseok’s motions are sure, and it feels like he’s massaging Lu Han’s head rather than drying his hair.

 

“You’re drying my hair like a pro. Is this some kind of extra service you do for  all your  customers?” Lu Han asks when he feels Minseok’s fingers through the towel rubbing  behind his ear.

 

“As if. I’m used to drying Tan”, the barista explains and then moves in front of Lu Han, drying his face. The barista’s round face is suddenly so close that Lu Han moves his head back in surprise. Minseok’s hands stop their movements and the barista keeps staring at Lu Han, making the constable’s cheeks heat up. Unable to avoid the other’s gaze, Lu Han stares back. He isn’t one to back off from a challenge. Minseok’s eyes are big and sharp like Xiumin’s. Lu Han’s stared into the thief’s eyes enough that nowadays, he immediately notices if anything about the people around him resembles the criminal . Where Xiumin’s eyes are ice cold and arrogant, Minseok’s are brown and soft. Before Lu Han manages to ask whether anyone  has ever said that Minseok’s eyes look like Xiumin’s, the barista speaks again.

 

“What happened to your face?!” He looks shocked and slides his finger along the faint scratch markings on Lu Han’s face. Then he seems to catch himself and immediately retrieves his hand, blushing hard.

 

“S-sorry! I didn’t mean to touch…!” Minseok quickly backs off, leaving the towel on Lu Han’s head, and the constable guesses he’s going to have to dry the rest himself. He’s slightly disappointed.

 

“It’s okay”, he reassures the barista, who’s bouncing on his heels, awkwardly looking anywhere in the room except at Lu Han. It’s kind of adorable — it reminds Lu Han of his cat and those rare moments when the creature has shown some kind of affection (other than testing his claws on Lu Han) towards his owner and felt shy afterwards.

 

“They’re my war scars”, Lu Han jokes and finishes drying his hair. His jacket is still cold and damp, but a mere towel isn’t going to be much help for that. He’s lucky the shirt he’s wearing underneath didn’t get all that wet. He just has to make it back to the station and he’ll be fine.

 

“War scars?” Minseok blinks and tilts his head, clearly not understanding what Lu Han means. The constable ponders for a moment whether he should tell the barista the truth or not. It’s embarrassing, but Minseok doesn’t seem the type to laugh at Lu Han. At least not in a mocking way, like Zitao had.

 

“I tried to make out with my cat”, he sheepishly explains while handing  the towel back to Minseok.

 

“Y-you what?!” Minseok stutters when he takes the towel and hangs it over a locker door to dry.

 

“Yeah. Zero out of ten for the experience, I don’t recommend it. Kissing cats is dangerous.” Suddenly Lu Han isn’t sure whether  he’s talking about Xiumin or his cat, but he shakes his head quickly to get rid of his thoughts before they wander to a familiar dark cabinet and Lu Han being pressed against the windowsill…

 

Minseok looks at the constable with wide eyes for a moment, before a gummy smile takes over his face,  previous embarrassment forgotten. “I could have told you that.” He’s looking at Lu Han again, and the constable is glad that whatever awkwardness the barista felt after touching Lu Han’s face is long gone.

 

“I’ve learned my lesson now. No more kissing cats for me.” Lu Han laughs. The wounds on his face don’t even sting that much anymore, mostly thanks to Zitao and his expensive face lotions that are apparently necessary to keep you looking young. They also work magic when you’re trying to get the claw marks on your face to heal faster.

 

“That bad of an experience?” Minseok bites his lip again. Lu Han concludes it must be a nervous habit.

 

“Let’s just say I won’t be forgetting it anytime soon”, Lu Han vaguely answers, not wanting to get too deep into it. “Anyway, I should probably go. My co-workers are waiting for their dose of caffeine.”

 

“Yes, of course! Just wait a second!” Minseok opens a closet next to them and pulls out an umbrella and a jacket. “Take these with you so you won’t get wet again”, he says , offering Lu Han his jacket and a black umbrella.

 

“What? No, I can’t take those! I’ll just run back to the station, it’s no big deal!” The constable tries to refuse, but Minseok is  practically stripping him out of his wet jacket  and offering him the warm one to wear.

 

“Please? I can’t have my favorite constable catching a cold. I know from a recent experience that getting wet and catching a fever sucks...” Minseok makes a puppy face, and one look into his pretty brown eyes makes Lu Han mumble _okay_ even though he barely knows the other guy. Before he manages to come to his senses after that cutesy act, the barista has thrown his warm jacket over Lu Han and the constable immediately feels better.

 

“Your _favorite_ constable, though?” He has to ask. Minseok’s face flushes red again and Lu Han realises he enjoys the sight.

 

“Well, you’re the only constable I know, so…” the barista explains, rubbing his neck nervously. “…Baekhyun’s probably at the counter ready to take your order, I’m just gonna stay here to clean a bit.” He urges Lu Han to get out. Feeling confused, the constable thanks the barista for the jacket and the umbrella and promises to return them after he’s done with work. Minseok nods at him and dusts invisible dirt off the table. Taking one last look at the barista and his red ears (Lu Han chuckles when he finds it amusingly similar to Kris’s embarrassed state), Lu Han lets himself out of the backroom and walks to the counter to order their usual batch of coffee. Minseok’s jacket fits him well, being only slightly smaller than Lu Han’s own.

 

He thanks Baekhyun for the coffees and walks out, holding the cups in  one hand and Minseok’s umbrella in another. Without incident, Lu Han makes back to the station, a little late but warm and dry.

 

“What took you so long?” Yixing demands to know when Lu Han steps back into their dungeon. He’s drumming his leg against the floor. The sign of caffeine addiction. Yixing basically rips his coffee mug from Lu Han’s hands as soon as the constable is within  grabbing distance. Not caring about burning his tongue, the forensic investigator downs half of the coffee in one giant gulp. Lu Han’s pretty sure Yixing has burned the last of his tasting buds years ago.

 

“Easy there”, he still tries to slow Yixing down. “There was just a little hold-up”, Lu Han explains, handing  coffees to the rest of the crew. Zitao takes his with a smirk.

 

“By hold-up, do you mean you stayed to flirt with Minseok?”

 

Lu Han almost drops the cup he’s holding. “E-excuse me?!” He stutters, even though there’s nothing to  stutter about. After all, he did not stay to flirt with the red-headed barista.

 

“Don’t try to deny it, gege. I heard all about it from Baekhyun when I saw him in yoga last week”, Zitao continues, and suddenly Lu Han remembers the other man lives for juicy gossip. It seems like the other barista at the coffee shop has got the wrong impression about the type of relationship Lu Han shares with Minseok. Sure, the barista is cute, the way kittens are cute. But that’s that, and there’s nothing more between them.

 

“I haven’t been… _flirting?”_ Lu Han defends himself when he feels the attention of the rest of Unit M on himself. (Kris acts like he doesn’t care, but Lu Han’s pretty sure he isn’t focusing on the document he’s supposed to be reading either). “I don’t flirt while on duty! I’m not…” _I’m not Xiumin,_ Lu Han wants to say, but he can’t because then the next question would be _how do you know Xiumin flirts on duty_ (and can he even call Xiumin’s heists being his duty?).

 

“I’m not…Yixing”, Lu Han finishes lamely. He hates throwing his co-worker under the bus, but nothing else honestly came to his mind, and he’s seen how Yixing sometimes laughs with the foreign forensic scientist (an equally crazy Norwegian guy) who joins the investigation from time to time.

 

As expected, Yixing throws Lu Han a hurtful look. “I don’t flirt with Alan on duty! I’m offended gege thinks that of me.”

 

“Sorry, sorry”, Lu Han immediately apologizes. He thinks about the reactions he’d get if he told the others he’s been basically making out with Xiumin while on duty. It wouldn’t be pretty, and he’d probably have to kiss goodbye to his job.

 

Lu Han’s lost in his thoughts and misses Yixing’s “Sure, I’ve slept with him a couple of times but flirting on duty? _Never_ ”, that makes Kris choke on his coffee. The inspector doesn’t stop coughing until Jongdae has been hammering  his back for at least  ten whole minutes with Lu Han in the background, blissfully ignorant.

 

…

 

The unwanted dreams keep bothering Lu Han at night, but at least he hasn’t tried to kiss his cat again. Still, when the next calling card emerges, the first reaction Lu Han has is terror rather than excitement. He’s terrified of how excited he is — excited for all the wrong reasons. The first picture he imagines isn’t the usual vision of him smirking while handing over a handcuffed Xiumin to a dumbfounded Kris. No, it’s an image of a smirking Xiumin, holding some kind of diamond in his hands and asking Lu Han what he’s willing to give for it. The thief has completely poisoned Lu Han’s mind, and he hates it. He has to stop the dreams, has to stop thinking of Xiumin as anything other than a danger to society and someone who he’d rather see behind bars. He’ll stop his silly thoughts, even if it means not sleeping anymore.

 

“Are you sick, Lu Han?” Kris questions him. “It’s been five minutes and not once  have you tried to rip the calling card out of my hands.”

 

“Haha”, Lu Han dryly laughs. “I’m just a little tired. Haven’t been sleeping well. Now gimme that cursed card.”

 

Kris raises his eyebrow but doesn’t say anything. He hands over the card that has been sealed in a tight plastic bag, waiting for Yixing to show up to work. Lately, he’s been putting a lot of late hours into his voice changer, and apparently  version 2.3 doesn’t need to cover the mouth anymore for it to work. Zitao accidentally tested it once when he put it on his neck, thinking it was just another fashionable collar someone left lying around for him to wear. Needless to say, he wasn’t impressed when he suddenly started to sound like a dying old man. Putting aside Yixing and his crazy ass inventions no one really cares about, Lu Han reads the words on the card. Something about a drop from the blue ocean, a maze and self-appointed gods on Earth. As usual, Lu Han doesn’t really make head or tails of it, but it’s not like he has to. That’s why they have Jongdae.

 

“This can’t be anything other  than the Blue Maiden, the well-known sapphire earring located in the huge mansion of the Huang family. Not related to Zitao, fortunately.” Jongdae does his job with one glance at the paper. That was fast, even for him. Perhaps Xiumin is getting sloppier with his riddles.

 

“The Huang family? Surely you don’t mean the one with the possible ties to mafia…” Zitao stares at Jongdae in disbelief.

 

“The very same. That’s why I’m sure about the earring as well. A couple of years ago, when Kris and I were looking into them, we kept track of everything they purchased. There was one sapphire earring bought from our friend, Mr. Kim”, Jongdae explains and Kris nods behind him.

 

“The mafia ties never got proven, though. That family is as sneaky as they come.”

 

Lu Han knows about the Huang family too. They’ve been on the newspapers often and were a commonly discussed  subject in the police academy as well. A lot of suspicious activity has been linked to them — or rather, people have been trying to link any kind of suspicious activities to them. As Kris  said, nothing ever got proven. But people have been known to disappear whenever they’ve tried to cross one of the Huangs. Sometimes going after Xiumin almost makes Lu Han forget there are nastier criminals in the world too.

 

“Hmm…” Zitao’s musing interrupts Lu Han’s thoughts. “Isn’t this a nice chance to look around the Huang estate then? We never could get a search warrant for it .”

 

“Yes”, Kris nods as if he had been thinking so all along. “I doubt the Huangs will welcome the idea of police officers in their mansion, but at this point, not letting us in to catch Xiumin would make them more suspicious.”

 

“And”, Lu Han wants to be helpful too, “Maybe this will give us a lead on Mr. Kim as well? He could be connected to the mafia.”

 

“Indeed. This feels like killing two birds with one stone”, Kris smirks.

 

“Three if we manage to catch Xiumin as well!” Zitao excitedly yells, and it makes Lu Han excited too. This time for all the right reasons. He feels it in his bones — something big will come out of this. Whether it’s  connecting the Huangs or Kim to some illegal activity going on or catching Xiumin. Feeling like himself again, Lu Han almost topples his chair when he suddenly rises from his seat .

 

“Boss, we have to get the floor plans of the Huang estate so we can start planning the operation! Think they’ll hand them over willingly?”

 

“Most definitely not. But I’m not going to ask nicely.” There’s something dark in Kris’ eyes, and even though the inspector is pretty chill most of the time, Lu Han can clearly see why he’s their superior. There’s something really intimidating about the tall man, and Lu Han’s sure they’ll have the  much-needed floor plans on their desks by tomorrow.

 

…

 

The floor plans take Kris two days to get, planning the whole operation eats another three (and two all-nighters), and adding in the search in the Huang mansion two more. They were lucky Xiumin had given them a whole week to prepare before the announced time.  Planning two separate operations would’ve been an impossible task otherwise.

 

Lu Han hasn’t had too many  dirty Xiumin-related dreams lately. But that’s probably because a) his brain has been filled with the details of the operation and b) there has barely been time for him to sleep, anyway. Kris had been right: the Huangs were more than unhappy to let the police run all over their estate, but the pressure from the press (it wouldn’t be a Xiumin case without huge headlines), as well as from the police and the citizens of Beijing, had eventually made them promise to let the forces in. Kris isn’t hoping for too much and is more than sure the Huangs will have shipped all the incriminating evidence far away from the mansion by the time the police arrive, but it’s still worth a  shot.

 

…

 

Lu Han knew the mansion was huge — he had seen the floor plans, after all — but seeing the building in front of his eyes still manages to make his breath catch in his throat. The yard alone feels as big as Beijing’s city center. At the end of a very, very long road that divides the front yard into two identical sections, lies the Huang mansion. Lu Han’s not sure if he can even call it a mansion. It’s more like a… five huge-ass mansions put together. A mega mansion.

 

Why can’t rich people ever live in normal-sized houses where it would be easy to guard their things? They just have to live in these monster houses that provide a million and one hiding spots for Xiumin. Rather than wearing his uniform, Lu Han feels like he should have put on sweatpants and a jersey. There’s surely going to be a lot of running tonight.

 

Beside him, Zitao whistles. “I’d like to see the size of their wardrobe. Maybe I’ll ask Kris to let me investigate that part of the house…”

 

“We all know you won’t get any investigation done that way”, Jongdae deadpans and takes a look at the map he has open on his tablet. “I think I’ll recommend putting you to the closet with the cleaning supplies instead.”

 

“Gege, mean!!” Zitao pouts and pinches Jongdae’s cheeks in revenge. Before Jongdae has the chance  to put his hands on Zitao, Kris coughs next to them.

 

“Can we try to have at least one operation without constant bickering? We need to concentrate here, there are big fish to catch tonight.”

 

Jongdae and Zitao both hang their heads low, looking guilty before mumbling apologies to the inspector. They all, Lu Han included, gather around Jongdae’s tablet to review the operation. The police forces have been divided into smaller units, each of which is going through their own plan. Namely, Unit M is here to catch Xiumin.  In last night’s operation review, Kris, with another chief inspector who’s been looking into the Huangs for years, pointed out that the most important thing tonight is finding evidence against the Huangs, not catching the thief. That’s why half of the police officers taking part in this operation are ones more familiar with the Huang family and their possible crimes.

 

Kris had told Lu Han that since he hasn’t had the time to look into the Huangs, he should fully focus on catching Xiumin. Or at least getting the earring back if the thief manages to steal it. Lu Han is their best bet after all, the inspector had joked, referring to the two times Lu Han’s been able to get the stolen item back. If Kris only knew what  the cost had been…

 

Terrible cost or not, Lu Han swears he’s doing the best he can to bring Xiumin down for justice tonight. He’s not sure if Kris had Mr. Kim’s earlier rage episode in mind when he informed Lu Han he’d be positioned in  the central  room with a few other officers.

 

…

 

They don’t have to wait  too long for Xiumin to appear.

 

In typical Xiumin fashion, the thief appears in the middle of everything. It almost looks like he’d dropped out of the ceiling, which should be impossible because there are police officers on the floor above them. And there shouldn’t have been any ceiling hatches between the floors either, at least according to the blueprints of the mansion. But there Xiumin is anyway, suddenly standing in the middle of the floor, next to the glass standee that has the Blue Maiden in it. He bows to all the officers in a mocking manner, like he’s an entertainer of some sort.

 

It doesn’t take too many heartbeats for someone to yell “get him!”, and then most of the officers are on Xiumin, just as the thief snatches the earring from the standee. Lu Han is standing by the door, making sure Xiumin won’t escape through it, and he watches how the officers attack the thief from left and right. It looks like Xiumin barely uses any force to hit back, but most of the officers are down with just one slap on their neck or shoulder. They’re not groaning on the floor, looking hurt, but simply unable to get up. Neither Lu Han nor anyone else in the room  knows what’s going on, but it’s not like they can just stop to analyse the situation.

 

When Xiumin’s floored most of the officers in the room, he suddenly ceases combat and sprints. Watching the blue eyes getting closer, Lu Han feels his muscles tense. He’s not going to let Xiumin get past  him. Not a chance. He stands a little firmer in place, spreading his hands, ready to catch the thief. Xiumin downs two more officers, and Lu Han is next in his line of sight. The constable can see a brief smirk on the thief’s face when he suddenly jumps, gracefully like a cat. But Lu Han’s always been quick to react in these types of situations, so he manages to move his body just in time and make Xiumin have contact against it. They both fall to the floor, but the thief is quick to roll back to his feet, like he didn’t even mind the obstacle, and continue running. Lu Han isn’t far behind, being equally athletic. He watches another officer surge towards Xiumin, but the thief barely needs to touch the police officer on the neck before  the man is already down, letting Xiumin get away.

 

Lu Han’s pretty sure he saw a quick spark come out from Xiumin’s gloves and makes a mental note to avoid hand-to-hand combat with the thief.

 

“Stop right there!” Lu Han hears a familiar low voice coming from his right and sees a long-legged officer joining the chase. Behind Park is officer Do, slightly panting. They hear Xiumin laugh at the command, and it feels like the thief only speeds up. With the long hallways connecting to other equally long hallways, Lu Han has no idea  what part of the building they’re in anymore. He doesn’t exactly have the time to check out his surroundings, not when his eyes are fixed on Xiumin’s backside.

 

He sees Xiumin reach for his pockets and pull something out. It’s not a gun, but a handful of small marbles instead. Lu Han barely sees them, but he can hear them hit the expensive floor. The constable is about to warn the other two officers when there’s a shout.

 

”You goddamn incompetent idiot”, Lu Han hears officer Do huff. Officer Park has managed to get tangled up in his own legs and tackle them both to the ground while trying to avoid stepping on the small marbles. Lu Han doesn’t have the time to stop to help them or pull Do from underneath Park, because he doesn’t want to lose sight of Xiumin. He trusts that the two officers will manage to untangle themselves without Lu Han’s help.

 

He skillfully dodges the few stray marbles on the floor without slowing down. It feels like the years of playing football, where you constantly have to be wary of dangerous tackles aimed at  the ball and your feet, are paying off. Xiumin doesn’t turn to check whether  he’s managed to shake off all his pursuers – he must still hear Lu Han running after him.

 

“Stop in the name of the law!” Lu Han yells and flushes mid-run because that only sounded cool in his head. His embarrassing shout doesn’t even make Xiumin halt or laugh and slow down. No, the thief keeps running at a speed that would surely leave Lu Han to bite the dust if it wasn’t for his long athletic history.

 

They’ve taken  so many turns and run past so many hallways and unlocked rooms that Lu Han’s probably going to need GPS if he ever wants to find his way back to Kris and the others, or even out of the mansion. If the building looked huge outside, it’s even more so on the inside. Even when his eyes are trained on  Xiumin, Lu Han still notes that the rooms are slowly starting to become more “normal”,  rid of all the expensive decor. They must’ve entered the servants’ side of the building.

 

Perhaps Xiumin knows where he’s running, because he suddenly takes a sharp left turn and runs up the stairway. Lu Han manages to hit the manual brakes in his body just in time and follow the thief. Xiumin has long legs that help him hop multiple stairs at a time, but Lu Han is  confident in his thick thighs and the power they carry. Not being afraid of getting too tired, he speeds up, running up the staircase and almost catching Xiumin at the top of it. The stairs seem to have tired the criminal a bit.

 

“I said stop!” He yells again, even though he doesn’t really think Xiumin will obey. It doesn’t really matter, though — the thief is almost at the end of his fingertips. Only a couple more steps… Xiumin must have sensed this too, because he launches himself into the room at the end of the hallway, probably planning  to shut the door in Lu Han’s face before the officer makes it inside.

 

He doesn’t get the chance to do so,  not when Lu Han basically throws himself against the door and into the room. The door hits Xiumin in the head and knocks him onto the floor. Lu Han knows a chance when he sees one. Quickly getting to his feet, he scrambles to Xiumin’s side and handcuffs the thief.

 

Or at least he tries to. Even dizzy from  getting a faceful of a heavy wooden door, Xiumin knows when he’s in danger and manages to struggle under Lu Han.

 

“Stay still, you little asshole”, Lu Han huffs. He’s managed to get one handcuff on Xiumin, but the other one is starting to look like too much of a challenge. The thief proves that his arm muscles are still as strong as ever when he holds Lu Han’s other hand, making sure he can’t click the metal cuff in place.

 

“I thought you liked little assholes? Tight ones. I have one, just for you, Cutie Constable”, Xiumin smirks and Lu Han sees red.

 

“And shut your piehole! Let’s see how tight it is after some years in prison”, Lu Han growls while throwing a punch at Xiumin. The thief just barely dodges it and knees Lu Han in the stomach in return. It causes Lu Han to flinch just enough for Xiumin to roll them around.

 

“Does that mean you’re planning to visit me often then?” Xiumin looks at Lu Han and the constable can see the corners of his lips pointing upwards, taunting him. This is the first time Xiumin’s worn a mask that exposes his mouth. Lu Han looks at the thief’s red lips. He must be wearing some kind of a lip tint. No one has lips that are naturally that red. Xiumin is sitting on Lu Han, holding both of his hands over his head. The situation is eerily reminiscent of their first meeting. This time he won’t be fooled into looking at those flashy metal balls in case Xiumin decides to use them to escape  again. Thinking his best bet is to try to get Xiumin cuffed to his own hand, Lu Han tries to direct  the thief’s attention to himself and away from the  hand holding the cuff.

 

“I’d rather leave you to rot there for good. This’ll be the last time you ever see me”, Lu Han answers, trying to rile up Xiumin .

 

Of course, it doesn’t work.

 

“Hmm, better make the last time memorable then, right, Cutie Constable?” Xiumin’s face is just centimeters away from Lu Han’s, and the constable can smell the minty breath. He’s almost managed to get the cuff around his other wrist, he just needs Xiumin to focus on his face a little longer.

 

“You have a suggestion ready?” He flirts back and hopes Xiumin won’t see how much he’s cringing inside. If riling up the thief won’t work, maybe this will. Xiumin at least looks surprised for a second before taking back control of his face, expression smug once more.

 

“Try plenty of suggestions. Most of them involving you without your clothes.” Xiumin licks his lips. “Or maybe not. I’ve always thought you looked rather hot in your uniform, Luhan.”

 

“I’m honored you remember my name…” Lu Han grits his teeth together. Just a few seconds until  he’s attached Xiumin to himself.

 

“How could I forget?” Xiumin’s lips are ghosting against Lu Han’s, almost touching. Lu Han can feel cold sweat under his fringe, and it’s not because he’s about to click the handcuff in place.

 

_Click._

Finally.

 

“Hah! I got you!” Lu Ha yells when he feels the cold metal around his wrist.

 

“You got me the first time I saw you”, Xiumin murmurs, and then to Lu Han’s surprise, detaches his hands from Lu Han’s wrists and stands up, still hovering over the constable.

 

“But this time, I think you only got yourself, Cutie Constable.” The thief then smirks and straightens his clothes, making Lu Han realise both of Xiumin’s wrists are free. Then he feels something around his left wrist. Something that shouldn’t be there, something cold and metallic.

 

It’s Lu Han who’s been handcuffed.

 

And not just that. The handcuffs go around the old metallic heater on the wall, making it impossible for Lu Han to stand up or even move his arms.

 

“What the…” the question stumbles out of his mouth. He should’ve been handcuffed to Xiumin, not to himself!

 

“You’re not the only one with nimble fingers…” Xiumin smiles mockingly and shuts the door behind them, locking it with a swift motion. Lu Han gulps. In the huge mansion like this, it’s going to take a while before anyone makes it here . If anyone even has the key to this room, anyway. He tries to squirm, but the handcuffs won’t budge. He can only sit there, his hands behind his back, leaning against the heater.

 

“It seems you’re quite stuck there. Do you want me to call your girlfriend and tell her you’re gonna be late, so she won’t stay up and wait for you?” Xiumin murmurs, and his eyes twinkle like they always do when he’s making fun of Lu Han.

 

“Hah, the joke’s on you, the only thing waiting for me is my cat”, Lu Han retorts back. Xiumin stares at him for a second or two, but Lu Han can’t really read the thief’s expression. Not before his lips turn upwards in a familiar way.

 

“Now that’s the best joke I’ve heard in a long time…” Xiumin smiles, sounding almost fond, which doesn’t really suit his naughty expression. Lu Han doesn’t say anything back, doesn’t give the thief the satisfaction of twisting his words around again.

 

“What should I do with you, Cutie Constable?” Xiumin crouches down and slides his gloved finger against Lu Han’s cheek. Much to his surprise, Lu Han doesn’t feel electricity attacking him like he thought would happen. Maybe there’s an on-off switch in those things. “Always so close to catching me, but never quite succeeding…”

 

“I _will_ catch you one day, just you wait!” Lu Han spits and tries to kick Xiumin. The thief easily dodges and then sits on Lu Han’s thighs to prevent any more trashing around.

 

“I’m looking forward to that day, then. But for now… I’d feel bad just escaping when you’ve tried so hard. Even managed to chase me to this room… Don’t you think you need a reward?” Xiumin purrs, hands on Lu Han’s flat stomach. Thanks to their struggle earlier, Lu Han’s shirt has been untucked from his pants and he feels the thief’s leather gloves resting against it.

 

“I don’t want any rewards from you!” He tells the thief firmly and wants to mean it. Lu Han ignores the flashes of kisses in his mind. He needs no rewards. Wants no rewards. Really, he doesn’t.

 

“Not even this?” Xiumin scoops something out from his pocket. It’s the Blue Maiden. The earring shines in the thief’s hand, and Lu Han can’t help but stare at the item. Kris’ proud expression and words about Lu Han proving his worth suddenly flash in his head. So does the newspaper article about the robbery of the Fallen Snow, one with Lu Han’s picture on it, telling the story of how the brave young officer got the item back. If he got the Blue Maiden back as well…

 

“Thought so.”

 

Ashamed to have shown what’s on his mind, Lu Han quickly lowers his gaze, refusing to look at the earring any longer.

 

“You want it, don’t you? Why don’t we make a small exchange like last time…?” Xiumin twirls the earring in front of Lu Han’s face. “Since you worked so hard, I’m willing to let this one go. For a small price.”

 

“And what is the price?” Lu Han can’t help but ask. With the couple of times he’s gotten the item back, the police have gained some good publicity. Even if Lu Han’s pride hangs on the line, he can’t let Xiumin just escape with the Blue Maiden, not without trying everything he can. That’s what he tells himself. There’s no ulterior motive, he just wants the item back. For his sake, and for the police’s sake. Not so much for Mr. Kim or the Huang family.

 

“The earring is yours if… you let me suck you off”, Xiumin says and looks straight into Lu Han’s eyes.

 

“Huh!?” Lu Han’s eyes bulge at the thief’s suggestion. When he was asking about the price, he was expecting another kiss. He could have handled that much, as he had already done it once, but this…

 

“Really, now. This item took a lot of preparation to steal. I don’t think I can exchange it for a mere kiss…” Xiumin murmurs, his fingers travelling dangerously close to Lu Han’s crotch.

 

Lu Han feels the blood rush to his face — and to other body parts. Things are getting more dangerous by the second, and not in the way they were trained for in the academy. Xiumin is lethal, but not in the way he was expecting.

 

“Cat got your tongue, Cutie Constable? Or… Virgin Constable?” Xiumin smirks when Lu Han has done nothing but stare at him with a dumbfounded expression. “I suppose  I’ve become very familiar with catching your tongue lately”, the thief continues and slides his thumb against Lu Han’s lips, easily slipping it into the constable’s mouth. When Lu Han tastes the leather in his mouth, he snaps out of whatever trance he was in and tries to bite Xiumin instead.

 

“Get your filthy fingers out of my mouth!” He snaps and trashes around. “And I’m no virgin, but I won’t let you blow me!”

 

Xiumin makes a disappointed face. “Tsk. You’re no fun, Luhan.”

 

“Get these off me and let me fight you fair and square”, Lu Han growls and points at the handcuffs. His comment makes Xiumin chuckle. “How about I get you off instead?”

 

“Not. A. Chance.” Lu Han takes a deep breath, trying to ignore the thief’s obvious attempts to rile him up again. He’s at a disadvantage. There’s no way he’s going to get the handcuffs off by himself. The key is in his pocket, but in this position, he can’t reach it. Xiumin is still firmly planted on top of Lu Han’s waist, making it impossible for the constable to use his legs. All he can do is  stall for time and hope someone comes to check the room they’re in sooner or later. Hopefully sooner.

 

“I know”, Xiumin replies . “But we already fought fair and square and you lost, Cutie Constable. I was offering you a consolation prize, but it seems you’re not interested. So, I guess… now that things are boring again, it’s time for me to go. With the Blue Maiden. See you next time~”

 

“Wait!” Lu Han finds himself yelling when Xiumin stands up and starts to walk away. He can’t let the thief escape. Not like this. Racking his mind for options, Lu Han desperately searches for something he could use to make the thief stay for a bit longer.

 

He comes up with nothing.

 

Nothing except…

 

Lu Han closes his eyes. Despite the dreams and despite everything, this is the last possible option he wanted to use. Really.

 

“Yes? Changed your mind about my offer?” Xiumin slyly asks, watching Lu Han from the corner.

 

Lu Han opens his mouth. Then he closes it. Xiumin lets out a disappointed sigh. “I’ll be going then.”

 

“…Yes.”

 

Lu Han wants to curse and beat himself up. He can’t believe he just said that. He can’t believe he just agreed to something so stupid. He’s done a lot of stupid things, but this takes the cake. But then again… he needs more time. Someone will come (preferably not him) to check out this room. He just needs to make Xiumin stay around for a bit longer — and hope that when someone finally does arrive, Lu Han’s pants are not around his ankles.

 

Something unreadable flashes in  Xiumin’s eyes when he hears Lu Han agreeing to… to stuff. Then the thief giggles and walks to the constable again. “So, you _are_ fun after all, Cutie Constable.”

 

Lu Han doesn’t trust himself to say anything. He just turns his head away, as if to signal that he’s being forced to do this and won’t enjoy it at all.

 

“Say, why don’t we make this interesting?” Xiumin crawls on top of Lu Han on all fours, face just slightly away from Lu Han’s “Until you come… I won’t escape.”

 

“What?” Lu Han hates how his voice sounds so out of breath already. The moment he agreed to this, his heart started beating double in his chest, and he can only hope Xiumin hears none of that. He hates that he isn’t as against this as he should be. But there’s something about Xiumin, something that Lu Han is attracted to. Maybe it’s his wits, or skills or something, but Lu Han can’t fully deny that something is drawing him towards the thief.

 

“You said you wanted to fight fair and square. So, I’m giving you the chance. If you last long enough, maybe one of your police buddies will find us, and you guys will finally arrest me. For your sake, let’s just hope it isn’t when I’m deepthroating you”, the thief explains, and Lu Han feels the heat spread on his face.

 

“You really won’t escape until I… you know?” Lu Han questions. Why does it always end up like this? Lu Han’s willing to trust the thief’s word.

 

“I really won’t”, Xiumin shakes his head. “I guess we’ll soon see if you were lying about being a virgin.”

 

Then, before Lu Han has the chance to argue back, Xiumin backs away until his face is level with the other’s crotch. Lu Han’s breath hitches, and he can feel the unwanted anticipation taking over his body.

 

“I really want to take my sweet time, but I guess I shouldn’t make this too easy for you…” The thief murmurs and runs his fingers along  Lu Han’s thick thighs, pinching them slightly through the fabric. “Mmm… so meaty… I wish I could have them wrapped around my waist…”

 

Lu Han gulps and stares at the ceiling. If Xiumin really won’t leave until… then this should be easy. It’s not like Lu Han’s going to enjoy the thief’s mouth, it’s not like he’s going to come. Getting your dick sucked by a criminal in a mansion full of other officers is a small price to pay for catching the slippery thief. He’s going to be professional about this. As much as he can.

 

That’s what he tells himself when he hears Xiumin remove his belt and open the zipper of Lu Han’s pants.

 

A small price. Be a professional.

 

But when Xiumin moves his hands and touches Lu Han for the first time over the fabric of his boxers, Lu Han forgets about everything and anything as his gaze flies to the thief immediately. Xiumin has taken off his leather glove, and Lu Han notes how small his hands look without anything covering them. The thief runs his finger against the outline of Lu Han’s dick, and the constable can’t help the shivers the touch causes him. He feels the shivers go all the way up  his length and make it twitch. Of course, Xiumin notices it too.

 

“You’ve been thinking about this, haven’t you?” Xiumin smirks when Lu Han’s member shows signs of life after just a gentle brush of the thief’s fingers.

 

“N-no!” Lu Han manages to protest without choking on the spit gathering in his mouth when Xiumin suddenly mouths his cock over the boxers, his breath hot even through the fabric. “All I…I think about is catching you!”

 

“Well, all _I_ think about is how much I want to have your cock in my mouth”, Xiumin purrs against the promising bulge in Lu Han’s boxers, and for a moment Lu Han isn’t so sure he’s not going to come. He never should have agreed to this. “And what I want… I usually get.”

 

And with that, Xiumin tugs Lu Han’s boxers downwards, just enough to expose his half-hard cock. The constable is beyond mortified. He hadn’t even realised he was already feeling this much. Must have been the excitement of all this, of the possibility of catching Xiumin. That and nothing else.

 

Lu Han barely has time to feel the hot breath against his exposed member before Xiumin, without hesitation, leans forward and slides the flat of his tongue against Lu Han’s cock. Then the thief licks it, tongue flicking along the underside of the constable’s length, as if to test how it tastes like. Lu Han bites his lip when he feels the other’s tongue brush against the slit, circling the crown. Xiumin has seated himself between the constable’s legs, holding Lu Han’s thighs in his hands, spreading them to make  more room for himself. Lu Han’s glad he’s handcuffed, or else he might grab Xiumin by the hair — and not for the purpose of arresting him.

 

A _fuck_ finally escapes from the constable’s mouth when he feels Xiumin twirl his wet tongue against the veins of Lu Han’s ever-hardening cock. The thief’s tongue is all over him, and soon Lu Han’s whole length is wet with saliva. There’s a lot of DNA to collect, but Lu Han would rather die than present it to Yixing and explain it’s from the time Xiumin’s mouth was on his dick. Xiumin’s very skilful mouth, he should add, when he briefly feels the thief’s teeth teasingly scrape against the skin and make heat pool in Lu Han’s stomach.

 

“It fits you”, Xiumin murmurs against the shaft. “Cutie Constable, with a cute, suckable dick”.

 

“It’s not cute, it’s handso— _ahh_.” Lu Han’s argument mixes with an uncontrollable moan when, without  warning, Xiumin takes Lu Han deep into his mouth. The constable balls his fists and ignores the dull pain the handcuffs are causing. He wants to look away, or at least close his eyes, but finds it impossible to turn his attention away from the sight in front of him.

 

Xiumin’s red lips are stretched around his cock, and he’s staring right at Lu Han. The (surprisingly) intense eye contact and Xiumin’s hollowed cheeks make Lu Han’s cock twitch with interest. When Xiumin sucks again, hollowing his cheeks as much as he can, he closes his eyes, and to Lu Han it looks like the thief is considerably enjoying himself. Knowing Xiumin, he probably is. Even though Lu Han’s trying to act as professional as you can when your dick’s being sucked, he’s starting to sweat a lot. It feels like he’s running a fever, the way his body is heating up with every skilful suck from Xiumin.

 

Lu Han can feel how Xiumin’s mouth is eager to go deeper and deeper with every lick. The thief doesn’t even try to hold back all the noises he makes, all wet slurps Lu Han can hear —  unlike the constable, who only lets out quiet grunts and pants. Letting go of Lu Han’s thigh, Xiumin’s hand holds the  part of the base he hasn’t fit in his mouth yet, tiny fingers squeezing it every now and then. Lu Han forces himself to keep his mouth shut and breathe hard through his nose. He’s not going to give the thief the satisfaction of hearing him moan again thanks to his (skilful) mouth.

 

Just when Lu Han thinks Xiumin is going to take all of him into his mouth, the thief lets go of his cock with a wet _pop_ instead _._ A trail of saliva connects the thief’s mouth to Lu Han’s member, and Xiumin does nothing to wipe his wet jaw dry.

 

“Nice to see you aren’t all that against this, Cutie Constable.” Xiumin kisses the head and has Lu Han mesmerized by the sight. Xiumin holds the constable’s reddening, throbbing cock in his hand and nuzzles it with his cheek. It smears some precum on Xiumin’s mask, but the thief doesn’t seem to mind. He keeps giving small kisses to Lu Han’s member – feathery touches, quick brushes. It’s so tender that Lu Han almost forgets the other is a wanted criminal whose real name he doesn’t even know.

 

“I’m… no…!” Lu Han weakly tries, but Xiumin’s tongue flicks under the head and the feeling makes him buck up his hips instead. He can hear the thief laughing quietly.

 

“It’s alright, Luhan. You’re just doing your job, aren’t you? Getting the Blue Maiden back. Nothing wrong with that.”

 

_Nothing wrong with that._ Lu Han wishes he could also think so, too. Especially after he lets out a groan when he feels Xiumin’s lips briefly on his balls. The thief sucks and licks on them like they’re  his favourite lolly, while Lu Han’s dick rests against Xiumin’s face, the texture of the black face mask tickling the wet skin. When Xiumin switches his attention back to the neglected cock, his hands move to hold the constable down by his hips, Xiumin’s fingers digging into the soft flesh of Lu Han’s exposed body. Taking Lu Han back into his mouth, the thief starts to bob his head up and down with a steady rhythm. It’s working too well for Lu Han, who finally forgets he’s not supposed to make any noises. When Xiumin bobs his head down once more, Lu Han isn’t even trying to hold back the moans anymore. He only slightly flushes when he hears the thief letting out an amused hum against his cock.

 

Lu Han’s breathing is erratic, and he knows Xiumin can hear it. He’s fully hard in the thief’s mouth, and Lu Han can no longer deny liking the sensation of Xiumin going down on him. Each time he sees his dick disappear into the wetness of Xiumin’s mouth, Lu Han slips further away. His pupils are probably dilated, dark with lust, and his face flushed red. He doesn’t remember their location nor the police forces surrounding them. He doesn’t even remember he’s supposed to last long enough for someone to arrive, to catch Xiumin. Not when every time Xiumin’s lips go a little further, Lu Han feels himself being pushed towards his inevitable orgasm a little more.

 

“Nnggh”, Lu Han gasps and tries to lift his hips again, forcing Xiumin to take him deeper. The thief’s eyes shoot up to meet Lu Han’s for a second, but Lu Han isn’t sure whether that was a warning  not to do that again or a sign to do it again. Probably a warning, he realises, when Xiumin pinches his waist hard enough to leave a bruise on Lu Han’s light skin. Then he takes all of Lu Han into his mouth at once.

 

“God, Xiumin”, Lu Han lets out a choked whine when he feels Xiumin’s face hit against his dark curls. There are tears in the thief’s eyes when Lu Han’s cock basically chokes him. The constable feels the tip of his cock resting against Xiumin’s throat, and it must be uncomfortable but the thief isn’t budging. Lu Han bucks his hips up slightly despite the previous warning, pushing his dick just a little further  into Xiumin’s mouth and making the thief moan. The constable feels the vibrations against his member and has to bite his lip hard enough to draw blood in order not to come right there and then. Then Xiumin hollows his cheeks, like _really_ hollows them, and Lu Han’s eyes roll back.

 

“Xiumin, I’m gonna…”

 

Lu Han feels his toes curl when a wave of pleasure finally hits him. His cock pulses deeply in Xiumin’s throat when Lu Han comes into the thief’s warm mouth, incomprehensible moans spilling from his lips. Xiumin eagerly swallows most of it before letting Lu Han’s member fall free from his mouth. Then he licks the rest of the cum with his tongue, cleaning Lu Han’s cock before giving it a tiny kiss. Lu Han watches his cum dripping from the corners of Xiumin mouth, and there’s something really erotic about that. Xiumin seems to notice Lu Han’s interest, because he swipes the leftover semen off his mouth with his fingers. He’s about to lick them clean too but pauses for a second instead. Still blown away by his orgasm, Lu Han misses the playful glint in the thief’s eyes when he starts to crawl towards the constable again.

 

“Say aaaa”, Xiumin hums when he’s seated  on top of Lu Han again, the constable’s soft cock hanging between them.

 

“Huh?” Lu Han answers intelligently, but the moment he opens his mouth, Xiumin sticks two of his fingers into the constable’s mouth.

 

“Suck them clean, Cutie Constable”, comes the command. If Lu Han was in his right mind, he’d probably bite them and tell the criminal to fuck off. But right now, his mind is still in its hazy post-orgasm state, and he finds no reason not to obey the thief. Distantly, he cringes at the taste of his own cum, but does what Xiumin told him to do  and sucks the two fingers clean. Xiumin looks into Lu Han’s eyes and doesn’t even try to cover his moan when Lu Han takes his fingers in knuckle-deep and rolls his tongue over them. Xiumin lazily rolls his hips against Lu Han, and the constable can feel the hardness jutting against his stomach.

 

Lu Han is starting to slowly catch his breath  and feel the oxygen travelling into his brain, clearing his thoughts. He realises he still has Xiumin’s fingers in his mouth. Maybe the thief sees the haze slowly clearing from Lu Han’s eyes, because he removes his fingers and swipes them dry on his black jacket.

 

“Thank you, Luhan”, he whispers and leans forward to give Lu Han’s lips a quick peck. Lu Han doesn’t remember to resist.

 

Then Xiumin quickly makes Lu Han look decent again, tucking in his soft cock and zipping up the constable’s pants. He places the Blue Maiden on Lu Han’s stomach after making sure his shirt is tucked in his pants again.

 

“You’re always so good to me, Cutie Constable. There’s your reward”, Xiumin says, and he almost sounds longing instead of his usual cocky and teasing self. It confuses Lu Han. Still trying to catch his breath, Lu Han helplessly watches Xiumin slide his hand against the wooden wall panelling until the thief seems to find the spot he was looking for. He presses it with both hands, and Lu Han can do nothing  but watch how a panel on the ceiling moves away and a set of ladders descend from it.

 

“You really thought I had no special escape plan? Luhan, darling, please. It’s the Huang mansion, and I’m sure you know what their reputation is.” Xiumin smirks and puts his foot on the lowest step. It seems this isn’t the first time the thief has been in the mansion, and Lu Han had foolishly thought Xiumin was running away and cutting corners randomly. “I’ll see you around, I hope.”

 

“Wait”, Lu Han rasps when Xiumin is about to climb up and probably escape the mansion for good. The thief spares Lu Han a glance as a sign that he’s listening but will be quickly leaving if this is just Lu Han’s attempt to stall for time again.

 

The constable opens his mouth, ready to ask the question, but stops when he realises he’s not sure what the question is. He feels confused. There’s something about the way Xiumin sometimes acts, like how he had kissed Lu Han at the end. It was more of a short and sweet kiss than the  teasing one Lu Han was expecting. Maybe it’s a new way to try to rile him up – Lu Han just doesn’t know anymore. It doesn’t fit. Doesn’t fit this same Xiumin that so shamelessly just blew Lu Han in the middle of his heist.

 

“W-why do you steal? No… why do you always give whatever you stole back?” Lu Han’s mind settles on the easiest question. He doesn’t want to start asking why Xiumin always does these _things_ to him, not when he’s a bit afraid the thief will give him something other  than his typical teasing answer.

 

“That’s a cute little constable’s job to find out, isn’t it?” Xiumin blows him a cheeky kiss before disappearing, and Lu Han sighs in defeat. It seems he’s not special enough yet for Xiumin  to just reveal answers to him. 

 

Lu Han doesn’t have time to wallow in his thoughts before he finally hears sounds from the outside. A moment later, a huge body pushes  through the door, almost landing on Lu Han, who just barely sweeps his legs out of the way.

 

“Damnit Park, I said I had the key!” Lu Han watches officer Do stroll into the room after what looks like an officer Park lying on the floor and on the broken door he had just busted in.

 

“C’mon, I’ve always wanted to try that.” Officer Park slowly stands up and rubs his shoulders. “Although the door was a lot sturdier than I thought. Maybe you should have knocked it down with your bu—”

 

“ _Park”_ , officer Do growls, and Lu Han decides to make his presence clear before  their bickering gets any worse.

 

“Ah-em”, he coughs and hopes the duo won’t ask too many questions. At least he’s tied to a heater instead of a bedpost. That would have raised some unwanted questions, whether he had the Blue Maiden to show for his efforts or not. Both officers turn to look at Lu Han and probably realise for the first time that he’s in the room.

 

“Oh, hi”, officer Park dumbly says and waves at Lu Han.

 

“Yo”, Lu Han nods and tries not to look awkward. Or at least not like someone who just  got  their dick sucked.

 

“Why do you look like someone’s ravished you?” Officer Park asks.

 

Well, so much for that.

 

In the end, officer Do releases Lu Han from the handcuffs and places the Blue Maiden in a plastic bag while Lu Han massages his red wrists. Officer Park climbs the ladder, going after Xiumin. They don’t catch the thief, but they do discover a whole new floor that the Huang family had _failed_ to inform the police about. The look on Kris’ face after he takes a look at the hidden rooms looks a lot like Zitao’s whenever there’s a sale at the designer boutiques. They may not have  caught Xiumin but something bigger instead.

 

On their way back to the station, Kris keeps asking Lu Han questions and Lu Han keeps giving him vague answers. Maybe it’s the fact that it’s almost 4 am, or the earlier orgasm, or the adrenaline and the tension finally leaving his body, but Lu Han is almost asleep by the time they reach the station. His eyes are closed, but the image of the blue cat eyes isn’t leaving his mind. Nor is the sinful picture of Xiumin laying on his stomach with his red lips stretched, moaning around Lu Han’s cock. The constable groans when he briefly remembers how hot Xiumin’s mouth had been. Why is it that Xiumin seems to be skilled at both kissing and sucking cock but Lu Han can write none of that in his reports? And he’s not arrogant and flirty all the time either, contrary to what Lu Han had first thought.

 

There seems to be a lot more to Xiumin than the reports tell, Lu Han muses on the verge of falling asleep. And after today, he’s even more eager to find out everything about the thief.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm... not a smut writer okay OTL


End file.
